Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Domestication and breach of CONTRACT

Good afternoon my fellow 4leggeds,

Today I pose a simple question: who are we? Well, we belong to the Class Mammalia (mammals - we are hair covered animals and we feed our young with breast milk ). We are meat eaters... therefore carnivores [all except JD!!!!] therefore we belong to the Order Carnivora and to the family of - Canidae. Within this family of canidae there are more subdivisions called genera, and each genus contains individual species. A "species" of dog is a group of dogs that normally breed and produce fertile offspring. Blah, blah, blah, sciencecakes. PHEW!

Now we get down to the nitty gritty. How and why did we befriend humans? My theory is revolutionary, but accurate I assure you. Human books indicate that archaeological evidence dates the domestication of dogs to have started about 10,000 years ago, (a lot earlier than the domestication of cats. Lucky, are you reading this???)

Excuse me, domestication of dogs?! Uh, dogs domesticated humans.

It's a simple symbiotic arrangement. A mutual promise. A bargained for exchange. A contract. 2leggeds promise food, shelter, and toys in exchange for our companionship, loyalty and devotion.

But something went wrong somewhere; the terms are too vague. We forgot to include provisions regarding the quality of the food in the contract. We just assumed we'd eat the same healthy food the 2leggeds got. (10,000 years ago there was no junk food!) We never imagined what some 2leggeds would try to pass off as "food." (Ehmm and what some of them eat?! Ick)

Have you smelled that canned stuff some 2leggeds try to torture their pups with? YUCK. It smells like a combination of gym socks, JD's butt, and bologna. No thank you.

So, 2leggeds, I beg you - stop slacking and hold up your end of the bargain already. No more canned food!!!! Go to the grocery store!!! I mean, it wouldn't kill you to eat a vegetable either. I'm just saying.


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