It's summertime. And the song lies. The living ain't easy. It's hot and muggy and
Big blue is the only way to go! And that solar fan is ehhh ok. I would like it better if it was a whole air conditioning unit with massive blowers. But then, I like it chilly. I am wearing my fluff you know.
The trick to survival is the ice cold water that daddy brings, and getting
some raspberry ices or frozen watermelon cubes or frozen blueberries!
The gel mats work well, but crazy Cos Cos, aka Cosmo, does not understand that you should lay down on the gel mat. He calls them paw freezers. Duh... try laying on them, they are so cooling. But no crazy Cos Cos must bark and jump and carry on like the fool he is until he sees a familiar face.
Apparently, momma is unfamiliar if her face is behind the camera. He is a "special" boy.
Even in the shade it's hot.
We do make daddy cool the van and run the AC before we get in.
After all, why not use our technology to make life easier?
Do you have your hoomans all on the same temp scale? We have a hot one and a cold one at my house. Noooo, I am not going to tell which is which, but I like the hot one, because she is like me, an AC lover.
Did you know I have my own registers? I do! I have floor registers that are mine to lay on at any time. Love them. Personal weather zones.
I bet many hoomans wish they had one of those.
The full length of their body.
Think about it.
It's good to be a Bichon, even when the living ain't easy.
All you need is staff. And if staff is a little neurotic, that's even better.
Oh, finally, the daddy is back. Now let's get going and drive our buggy somewhere fun! Do I smell BBQ?
So, I am told that today is the day that the sun will get eclipsed. I am not even sure what that means. But I hate the idea of my sunshine being turned off even for a minute.
I am a well known sunnie. I find that perfect ray streaming in and I lay myself just so... 2/3 on the ac vent so my my curls get the right amount of wind and cool while the rest of me catches the warmth of that ray of sunshine. It is part of my daily routine.
Momma this morning after breakfast made her announcements. She has to be gone today, daddy in charge. Ho hum. We are supposed to mind daddy and let him know when we need to go out . Ho hum. No chewing , no fighting , no marking... blah blah blah... Where is she going anyway? More instructions?! Oy , will it ever stop? I hate micro-managers, don't you? We are not to go out during the eclipse so we don't fry our eyeballs. Ho hu...??? What? Fried eye balls?
Back up woman. What are you talking about? I don't want any part of me fried, dyed or slayed to side. Who is in charge of this? I think I need to have a convo.
Ecplise. eclipse. I heard that word before. Something about Eclipse of the heart? A song right? Something stupid Alexa warbles. Yes she is stupid. She will not take my Azamon orders. Yes Azamon. And she will not acknowledge my requests for BBQ rib delivery. Stupid. Limited by infancy technology. Have you heard her jokes??? UGH. Its like being with a 8 year old hooman boy.
Back to this eclipse thing. Does the sun have a heart that is being eclipsed? Can we opt out? Is is dangerous? How long is this going to take? What if I have to tinkle during this thing? Will have have to go with my eyes closed? I could fall in the the pool, or bump in a bush, or trip on a blade of grass! You don't know how dangerous the backyard can be! This is unacceptable.
Momma, I dont think you should go anywhere. Daddy is ok as a back up, but in times like these we need primary resources caregiver to be on deck! Has he been briefed? Is there a protocol, can we get a copy of said protocol in case daddy forgets?
Momma, are you positively sure it's going to be ok? And it will all go back to normal quickly? And by the by... "fried eyeballs" is never just a figure of speech.
Don't try and coddle me.
I need my I pad. I need to research this. What a crock. What an absolute crock. turning off the sun. Is it like a puter reset? Is there an update or patch that the sun is installing? I just need to know why.
and what time is this happening????
ahh here we go :Eclipse
Still don't like it. Momma, gimme you heart ring. I want to hold it until you get back. [I call this insurance]
What does a girl have to do to get heard around here?
I have stuff to stay and more importantly I have stuff that needs to be heard!
I need all eyes and ears on me and I have taken center stage.
Hoomans HUSH! Pay attention!
Momma. Put your stuff down and pay attention. Stop your OCD cleaning.
Twice in the last week I have witnessed some rather disturbing behavior.
Both times, it involved the boys.
Yes, the boys. Cosmo and JD.
I preface this objection with the assertion that I am not motivated by jealousy in bringing this up, but rather from sensing an alarming trend that cannot be allowed to be continued. Also, I cannot bear the thought that someone would interpret my silence as tacit consent. [Daddy.... hmmm]
Cosmo went garbage surfing. A grave offense in this home. To date it's one of the mortal offenses. Meaning it kills momma on so many levels that she feels like a complete failure. She questions everything. It triggers crisis of confidence on the food front, discipline front, inadequacy front... you get the drift.
I would never dare to garbage surf! EVAH!
You have to be nuts to do it considering the aftermath.
Yet. Cosmo did it. In front of them, in plain sight, He went into the trash and stole a chicken bone. The horror! The panic! The confrontation between Cosmo and daddy! Scary stuff.
But scarier was the "ploy" daddy used to get the bone back.
He offered Cosmo a huge piece of turkey jerky! What the hey?????!!!
Equity where are you? Fairness are you dead?
Daddy you are rewarding the little terrorist?
Even with the exchange offer, Cosmo had to be forcibly made to comply. And then he got half of that treat. We, the dogs who followed the law... got nothing.
It was all so wrong that I was speechless. Daddy, you rewarded him for
garbage surfing. I don't care what else you call it, or however you want to justify it, I do not accept your reasoning. Maybe a punctured gut would have taught that little scofflaw not to violate house rules.
The rest of us... should have gotten a treat and he should have been without. I am just saying.
Momma. JD spitting his pills out 3 times in a row should not trigger you to go find more and more delicious yummies to pill him with.
You know how to put that pill down his throat. Just do it!
Are you both acting crazy because they are boys? Or have both of you taken leave of your senses?
Buckle up buttercups. I expect better from both of you.
I will call you out. And shame you.
PS. JD just marked your wastebasket. He better not be getting a treat because
The Wendy Pooh requires her bed, a quiet corner and the mere opportunity.
I require more. I need momma, or one of my human staff to hold and pet me,
to love me into sleep. Its not my fault. I came with the high maintenance option.
Before you freak out. Realize the benefits of the high maintenance option.
As you rub my belly so I can fall asleep, I lower your blood pressure. NONE of mu hoomans have high blood pressure. I take that as a personal achievement!
And he looked out the front yard. And he watched! Watched being the operative word.
That made momma dance with joy.
JD had cataract surgery on his left eye. His prior cataract surgery on his right eye was done two years ago and it was an easy peasy event.
But, this last one was a doozy. His eye pressures went up, very up. Momma cried for days. And then when we thought he got all better and pressures were under control, a seed shell flew into his healing eye and stuck itself on his retina scratching it and ... yes then his pressures went up again!
We thought he would lose his eye. You guess it. Momma cried and cried until
her eyes were so red that we worried about her.
And the eye drops, and constant trips to see the eye vet, and more drops... and the schedule for the drops, and momma's hyper-vigilance which drove us all crazy...
JD was unhappy, he did not want his window post, he really did not want to be alone and he did not even want to play except with me. He loves me no matter how he is feeling.
We thought for sure he lost all vision in his left eye. But you know what? We were wrong. Slowly the king is coming back. We caught him watching TV. Tracking momma. Tracking a bird. Yesterday he demanded that he be given back his seat at the dinner table!
Yes, he has elder privileges. He sits at the dinner table with the hoomans.
He had not wanted to, but the last couple of days, the king is back, he barked them into giving him back his seat.
And claiming his observation window is the topper to his recovery!
Let me tell you a story. Cos Cos, as I like to call him, is a bit of a handful.
He is a crazy boy full of energy and much like champagne, while his exuberance is fun most of the time, sometimes, he is like a bottle that has been shaken up a bit too much and popping that cork guarantees a mess.
The day after Cos Cos came to live with us, he was on the bed. Momma went up to him and offered him a belly rub. And with the verbal offer, she placed her hand on his side to have him turn over. As she touched him, Cos Cos jumped out of his skin, bark growled at her and jumped back all at once. Daddy had to intervene and after he calming Cos Cos down, daddy had to change Cos Cos' belly band as it was a bit wet. Momma reacted by jumping out of her skin, pulled her hand back, yelped "no" and jumped backwards as well. She retreated to the back of her closet in shock, mortified. It was a sight. Nobody changed her belly band that I know of. I think she did that on her own. We all watched horrified and decided that Cos Cos was cray cray because... who is sane and turns down a momma patented two handed full 10 digit belly rub??? Did he even know that it starts at the head with a neck scratch and ear mush and goes all the way to your tail???
Of course while we are talking about momma we must admit that she is cray cray as well. After she composed herself and got into fresh pjs, she declared that this would not stand. She looked at Cos Cos who was now hiding his face into a pillow, and proclaimed that he was her new "project".
Little did we realize what that meant. But over the next few weeks she would approach Cos Cos and offer up belly rubs. And when he would feign disinterest, she was not above showing him what he was missing. One of us would be the recipient of an unsolicited full belly rub and Cos Cos would watch.
Ok, I will confess now. This process was wonderful for us. JD, Wendy and I talked about it. None of us wanted it to end. Sooooo we came up with a plan. I supposed we should be ashamed for what we did. But, alas, we are dogs and shame is a learned human emotion and one I find to be useless, so personally I do not practice it. [Don't saddle me with your hang ups!] Anyway, we told Cos Cos that momma ate bellies and that the massage was a tenderizing process. We told him to be weary and watch out.
It helped that momma would occasionally say things like " You look good enough to eat". " Gimme some belly, I am hungry for a belly!"
For months, Cos Cos lived on that edge of fear and joy. The occasional belly rub he surrendered to would leave him wondering if his belly was getting tender enough to eat. And the next time she would approach him, he refused the belly rub ... out of fear... with many regrets.
And then it happened. We really were not privy to how or when. But apparently momma and Cos Cos had a heart to heart talk. Somehow he knows she does not eat bellies, and the boy is now completely trusting of her to the point of embarrassment. If he is on the bed and she walks by, he turn sunny side up and waits for... a full belly rub.
Shameless. He jumps on her lap and asks for belly rubs. He even falls asleep during a belly rub.
Monday we were at Mr Myke getting groomed and I overheard Cos Cos telling another dog that he lets us believe that momma eats bellies so he can hoard belly rubs. He was chuckling and winking. Proud as punch even. I took a deep breath, rolled my eyes, long deep blink... and told JD and Wendy... "Dang, boy thinks he is player... he thinks is playing us. This cannot stand. He is now MY new project!"