Thursday, March 18, 2010
I am not sleeping. I was trying to sleep. BUT... we have a war going on.
Momma has all her weapons out and she is in battle mode.
Yes... it is momma v dust bunnies.
This is one of many many battles and the greater war is fought on many many fronts...and backs and ups mostly unders. You know, furniture etc.
There are some basics realities you must understand to appreciate this war.
1. Dust bunnies are not the kind of Easter BUNNIES!
2. They are not alone. They have allies. MITES.. and such and unnamed ickies.
3. There are... enemies, of momma, and apparently our enemies by default. [she can't walk us if she killing them]
4. They should be called DUST DEVILS. Dust bunnies sounds... cute, which they are NOT!
5. As apparently there is no peaceful co existence to be had with DUST bunnies, evacuation and elimination is the only option.
6. The array of weaponry developed for dust bunny warfare is incredible! From low tech wands to high tech Ionics... dusters, vacuums, sprays, repellents, you name it... we own it.
The weapons...some are used constantly and some have been retired. ie. the feather duster.
The yellow spine thingie gets a lot of use. Low tech and efficient, it has a long reach and is not afraid of going under couches.
Dust buster sucker aka Sharkie also... gets a daily work out.
The vacuum... heavy warfare for heavy fighting.
7. This is a territorial war. Dust bunnies are in constant assault mode and they make advances which left unchecked result in sneezing and wheezing by momma.
8. Frisbee Cat has been unleashed. It eats dust bunnies.
9. You can smell the battlefield... I LOVE the smell of lysol in the morning!!!
10. You know what? If you squint, momma looks a little like Rambo. Hahahaha
Better lie still... she looks serious about this battle...
Any moment now, a Huey will swoop down while Ride of the Valkaries blasts...
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Can you send your momma over here when she's done at your house, 'vie. I noticed some dust bunnies under my coffee table last night and really don't want to be chasing after them...
Before I agree to send her, when would I get her back? Would she be back in time for dinner? You know, she still has to do upstairs, so check with me after that. The upstairs dust bunnies are carpet dwellers and trust me, they are bigger!
Umm,do you think your mama might like to come for a visit??? My mama says that trying to keep the dust down in the stockroom is like holding back the sea in Holland (and since she used to work there I guess she would know!) Because of the dust here at work I have to get a bath almost every other week! But I'll be honest, we don't have dust bunnies here, we have dust effalents!
Oh my Rocky! Around dust, momma sounds like Billy Crystal playing the old man on that old Saturday Night Live skit. She actually has it on DVD. She is OCD about dusting because she likes breathing! She said she would get a leaf blower and blow out your momma's work area daily. If you can't suck it up, blow it out!!!
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