Saturday, August 8, 2009

People watching

As entertaining as you two leggeds find television to be, we 4 leggeds find watching you humans even more entertaining. Just give me a shady spot in the breeze, sit me near my family [ I don't like being too far from them, I like my pact as close together as possible] and let me watch and try to figure you out...

Ok. Boardwalk watching is very much like American Idol, with a dash of So You Think You can Dance, a sprinkle of Project Runway... a smidge 0f Survivor and for sure a good dose of America's Funniest Home videos and sometimes you find other shows mixed in...

American Idol you ask? Well, You have the Ken and Barbie types who step out to the beach looking like the prototypes for Malibu Barbie & Ken. Aside from the obvious insanity of walking on only two legs (humans!!!!!)... this female is perched on things they call "heels" (momma calls them mules, but she is so wrong. I know what a mule is and that is NO 4 legged horse like thing..., but tha is a different post) that sink into the sand and are some kind of torture when walking on wood and cement... And yet she walks on... In a rhythmical exercise of pain - there is your dash of So You Think You Can Dance... Her hat matches her wrap and her heels and she swings a large raffia bag with a huge pink odorless flower thing, stopping ever so often to pose in front of some shop window... not unlike the runway models on Project Runway. By the time she has walked 6-8 blocks of the boardwalk, we are reminded that endurance is one admirable human trait . Same feeling you get when you watch Survivor. Our all American Barbie has blisters on her feet, she has a sunburn, and a rash and her hair has wilted and now looks like something that would be put in the compost pile on Victory Garden. (random show reference)
Malibu Ken is now red, covered in sweat and his sunglasses have left a white outline on his face making him look like a masked creature. Maybe the kind that you would see on Animal Planet.
Then he asks her if she wants to walk in the other direction. HA! America's Funniest Home Videos could frame her reaction and award her her ten thousand dollars!

All this brought to you without commercial interruptions! Well almost. Momma brought us water and then she gave us treats, so there was some interruption.

Now that is just one couple out of the hundreds. The only way you can prevent sensory overload is to focus on one or two human groupings. I like couples. They fascinate me. JD is into women and children. Wendy likes very few humans, mostly men. But honestly... what a show!!!!

See what I mean? Who needs TV?

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