Thursday, August 21, 2008

Another Jump to DELUSION

Look at this!


OMG. Is this a joke? It's such a jump to delusions! Hey humans!! It's not always about you.

Okay, I can make some allowances for humans' egocentricity. BUT really???? The article states that dogs are becoming more intelligent. Ok... Some of us are. (I do try to read at least one educational book a week. And by "read" I mean "chew.") But I think what we're talking about here is called evolutionary maturation. (I just made that up, but it sounds scientific, right? That reading is paying off!) We were always intelligent. Maybe now some of you are more observant? Look, as a cosmopolitan canine. I know elevators, planes, cars, hotels, hot tubs, pools... The Wii (I'm an excellent bowler), puters, phones, etc. etc... I am exposed to things. I learn. The ice machine held my fascination for a full minute. Now I expect ice. As I see, I learn. Normal.

Now this is the part that I have trouble swallowing... "even learning morals from human contact." Puh-lease. Morality is the underpinning of canine social structure in a pack. What can humans teach us? Do I need to send you all back to my post titled Philosophy101 ? And these are "experts." I just cannot believe you 2leggeds! Of course if you live with us you can understand what we mean when we bark or grunt or whatever! WE understand what you say! And we have a harder time because you pepper your request with useless words that really add NOTHING... As momma would say OY VE!

Here is a suggestion. Scrap the "experts." Get a few Bichons and their humans in a room and observe. We have humanized many of our behaviors. (Comes from being circus dogs... Give them what they want and they feed you... duh) You want to marvel? Marvel at how we have trained our 2leggeds. JD grunts and commands water be brought to him in a moving vehicle. That is the power of 2legged training! One or two grunts and voila' water. :) I watched him and I am trying that same technique (but I'm going to ask for chewies and a tank.)

Also, JD perfected the art of the dismissive lick. When he is done drinking he gently dismisses the 2leggeds with a lick of the hand. (I call that the Thank you my good man move) I tell you, your "experts" could learn something from JD.

The voice gender experiments mentioned in the article.... laughable. Obviously they do not watch Project Runway. This week's episode would have really messed up their stats. HA HA HA
Girlie voice out of big bulky guy in my book would have resulted in one assumption only: something is going to be sparkly!!!!

Dr Horowitz, You can play with me and the fam. Just bring your own toys; I really don't like to share. I bet it will give you some insight. And thank you for the belly laugh. I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard (but I think it involved tickling or corned beef).

JD just gave you an eyebrow blink. That means nuts in dog lingo. Just so you know.

Not deluded, fully rational

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