Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Did you ever find yourself staring at something and asking yourself why that item exists? Or better yet you ask yourself why someone even decided it was a necessity and bought it? No, momma, you are safe I will not be talking about your kitchen gear. (I am not stupid, my food comes from that kitchen and if momma wants a strainer/sifter/slicer/peeler whatchamacallits ... it is NECESSARY!) I am talking about the kind of stuff I see at the boardwalk. The chachkies. The dreck. The zotskies. The stuff that can only be sold to a bored human.

While I generally ignore what 2leggeds wear or adorn themselves with -except for that whole scrunchies things with momma- (I think I finally broke her of that habit! Clinton and Stacey rejoice!) some things are just hard to ignore. At my eye level, when I am walking at the boardwalk I see things that just boggle my little mind. What is the deal with strings tied around human ankles? Are those 2 leggeds trying to remember something? It is fashion? I felt compelled to go smell one just to figure out what it was. Just smelled like beach... So what is the point of them?

At my eye level, as I walk along the shops I observe things like... fuzzy little balls with eyes with sticky parts that are sold as "computer mates". What do the do? I smelled a couple. They smell like dust. As far as I can tell they do nothing. They are not food... so why? Why were they made and who buys them for 99 cents?

Ok, one of the most bizarre thing I have encountered for which neither JD or Wendy could provide me insight, are these plastic, ugly, colored scary looking things, the 2leggeds call "GNOMES". Ick. Apparently there are some that are of better ...ehmm quality??? But why????
The ones sold at the boardwalk are not high end. But again the question I need an answer to is WHY? How would quality impact the reason they exist at all? Momma called them garden gnomes. Do they grow? Why do you want them in the garden? They do not smell good and they are ugly so... why???

Maybe I should sit down and catalogue I absolutely want to exclude from my Amazon wish list... 1. no strings for my ankles
2. no fuzzy balls with fake eyes for my puter
3. NO gnomes... of any kind, quality or purpose.
4. No pet rocks. I am your pet, not some dumb rock.
5. no doggy hat with antennas, antlers, halos... feathers... banners, blinkie lights.. etc.
6. no invisible dog leash.

Ok, that is a start. When in doubt... Chewies, I love chewies, or a tank -I am easy to buy for!

why why why

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