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Monday, February 21, 2011

The Royal Wedding




Yes. IT arrived. I am a little shocked it arrived given OUR history, but I guess stiff British upper lip and protocol prevailed.

Am I going? Mhhh. Been thinking about it and I think I am going to say no. For many many many reasons.

I like William, and despite her penchant for fascinators, I also like Kate. But I am afraid that my past dealings with the Queen have left me with a bitterness that a simple invitation cannot overcome.

It all started with my evolution, you know, from rescue to royalty. Apparently that statement alone got the old girl's blood boiling. And it really curdled once I had the nerve to appear in print wearing one of my many tiaras. You guessed it. I got a visit from HRM's attache` who politely and in a very British snooty way informed me that "One does not evolve into royalty, one is born into it".... DUHHHHH. He then suggested I stop calling myself royalty immediately. You notice... the invite is for "MISS Silvieon4" and not HRM Silvieon4!!!!! Well you can guess how it went down from there.

One. I am born royalty. I am BICHON. My lineage predates the House of Windsor by more than a few centuries! Two, on this side of the pond the old girl is no more than a curiosity and I don't take orders from anyone we send packing 200+ years ago. Three, her failure to recognize my royal lineage is just that, HER failure. Talk about insecurity!!!! Four. I am who I am, a princess from my nose to my toes and she can lump it.

I considered putting in an appearance, if not for anything else, but to validate this pale conciliatory overture. Then it dawned on me. I am white. I am ... shall we say it out loud? I am pretty... and etiquette dictates that one should not wear white at a wedding, nor should one outshine the bride. Well, am I supposed to dip myself in ink and ugly up? HA, is that what this invitation is about? Some sort of etiquette imposed penance? Ahh... well played old girl! I pass.

I think I will call Fergie and hang out with her on April 29. I understand she will be on vacation. Maybe I will invite here, she can film for Finding Sarah, I am sure her new boss Oprah would love that.

I tell you, talk about royal pain in the butt!

Please consider this my RSVP- I will NOT be attending!

HRM Miss 'vie


2 comments:

Foley Monster and Pocket said...

Wow. I wonder why we didn't get invited? We are from the county of Yorkshire and royalty after all. It says Princess on our bandanna. Send me an e-mail at Foleymonsterandpocket@gmail.com and I will send you the Stylish Blogger badge and what you need to do to pass it on. Love the Mosnter

Kolchak Puggle said...

I do beleive I have been SNUBBED! The NERVE! Just who the VICK do they think they are?! Good thing I wouldn't have gone anyways!