Thursday, February 17, 2011

Does this happen at your house too?

Why do you freak out when I rub my dirty face on the carpeting? You like me with a clean face and I am cleaning it, and I can't reach the towels!

Why are you so bothered by my choice of "ointments"? Duck poop is all natural! You are all about the organic and natural no?

What's the deal with you and bugs? You hate them, but you won't let me play chew one to bits???

Let me get this straight, you really don't want to share your sox or underwear or anything personal with me? Why? I share! You can borrow my halter, or leash or floss boss... no not my chewies. Ok not this chewie....

I think scooting is a perfectly acceptable way to wipe my tush. Again, with the carpeting!!! You are supposed to walk on the thing, so why do you act as if it's hallowed ground?

Ok, you tell me what good is a couch cushion if you can't hide a chewie under it?

I have no clue why you object to my attempt to share the bathroom. I can't reach reach the toilet, but I can reach that rug!!!!

Can you please stop saying "leave it" every few feet when we are out walking? You take the joy our of the walk if everything out there is subject to the "leave it" bit.

No, I don't want to be civil and allow a stranger to pet me just because I am out in public. I don't know where their hands have been, and I want autonomy. I am not a petting object for every person that feels like it.

You really stifle my natural curiosity and instinct. I am supposed to keep my nose out of the trash, the dishwasher, the pantry, etc etc, but you put all the smelly things in there! Seriously!!!

You are not funny when you try to confuse me. You know I respond to "treat", so saying "tweet" is really mean... Besides, you make me think you are having a TIA, a transient ischemic attack, and then I worry....

I have every right to bark at the strangers in the garden, or on the roof, or in the pool or anywhere else in the house. You want me not to bark at them? Introduce me. Forget it, I don't want these people in my home., except for the dishwasher guy. He is nice, I like him. He gives great belly rubs. He has dogs. I sniffed them out.

Stop invoking Auntie Robin when you you are threatening me, or denying me something I want.
She is not here, so.... you are just hiding behind her name. SHAAMMMMMMME ON YOU!!!

Put away the camera!!! I hate that flash, and I am trying to talk to you..... Jeezzzzz....

Do you want to work on our relationship or what??????



rocky-dog said...

hmm, sounds like someone is having a bad day!

Tucker The Crestie said...

'Vie, when you're done straightening your mom out, could you come over and talk to mine? I think she could benefit greatly from it.

Thanks very much.



silvieon4 said...

Tucker, you are having the same issues? Humans! Can't live with them can't live without them, pass the chewies....