I don't usually write letters like this, but I don't know where else to turn. I'm having a problem with my 2legged. She won't always share food. Yesterday, she ate a steak. It smelled so good. I begged and whined, but she just wouldn't give it to me. She even got mad at me!!! I just don't understand. Please help!
- Gimmie some steak
Dear Gimmie Some Steak,
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard!!! First, how mean is it that your 2legged named you "Gimmie Some Steak" and then won't give you some steak!? 2leggeds are SO WEIRD.
Don't worry Gimmie, there is hope. Humans aren't that smart, so it's important to be clear. Start with my post on begging (part 1, part2). If that doesn't work, try my patented head tilt. It's simple; fluff your ears, tilt your head, and whimper. See the illustration below.
If all else fails, just take the steak. I mean, she'd share it with you if she knew you wanted it, so she won't be mad.
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