Monday, September 8, 2008

Who You Callin' LITTLE?

When I meet an on2, they always talk about how little I am. But I'm not so little! There's lots of things in the world smaller than me. Here are a few:

  1. Dingo Bones. If they weren't smaller than me, I wouldn't be able to chew them and get the tasty red part out. Of course, I don't know how big an actual Dingo is, but they sure seem to have a lot of bones, so I guess a full-size Dingo is probably a little bit bigger than me. But just a little.
  2. J.D.'s Dingo Bones. They're the same size, except stolen, so better.
  3. A sheet of pasta. Like for lasagna? When I tug on one and it falls on me, I can carry it away on my back.
  4. A taco. J.D. said that one day someone was going to put me in a taco and eat me, but then I saw an actual taco, and they couldn't fit a whole me in one. So that's just silly. You could make tacos out of my paws It's totally impossible to make a taco out of me. Don't even try, it can't be done. At all.
  5. Wendy's ear. When I play with Wendy, I couldn't take her on directly, because she's much bigger than me. But her ear is smaller than me, so I start by attacking the ear. Then she shows me her teeth, and I continue my attack by surrendering. (It's very psychological. It makes her think she's won, when really, I am preparing to put her ear in a taco.)
  6. Walnut Weevils. Yes, the squirrels are smaller than me. Unless smell is heavy. Because then they are much, much heavier.
  7. A far-away doggie. When we're in the car, sometimes someone says, "Silvie, look!" and I know that means they saw another doggie. But if it takes me a minute to look up, then the doggie is really really little in the distance. If I ever have to wrestle a Golden Retriever, I'm going to run really far away first, so it's really little and I can put it in a taco.
  8. Pictures of me. I think this might be why everyone thinks I'm so small. On the Web site there are pictures of me that are only a couple inches.
  9. Portions of chicken jerky. Always too little. Way smaller then me.
  10. My feet. I have four of them, so I must be bigger.



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