Friday, September 17, 2010
The open secret
Momma's friends know her very well. Apparently her secret is OUT. Yes, momma is a shoaholic. We are not talking casual shoe dabbler here. We are talking hard core addiction. We are talking cataloging her "shoe Bible" which she takes with her [now electronically... thank you ] on her shopping trips.
Only a real addict would lust for the Louboutin 2007 Anemone Verte or for the 2008 Very Noeud Rouge, or for a vintage Maud Frizon 1980 suede pump with a crossover strap in azur... or a 1950 gold T strap Vivos sandal.... or a 1924 d'Orsay....When momma whispers a name in her sleep, it is likely to be Stuart Weitzman or or Manolo... or Brian Atwood... or Ferragamo... if she is whispering it in her sleep, it makes shoes. That 's a safe bet. Like is said. Maybe calling it an addiction is to trivialize what it is. It is more like an obsession.
I am almost afraid to measure it against her love for all Bichons. Would we measure up? Ask momma where she wants her ashes sprinkled and she will answer " Joined with the ashes of all my departed Bichons over the Bata Shoe Museum in Toronto, Canada.
Well I am safe. I don't have a passport.
But ponder this. The woman only has the 2 feet. It would have been so much worst had she been blessed with 4 feet... and since she has itty bitty feet for a human, who will be wearing her shoes after she gets sprinkled over Bata? I have a solution! Put a sign over her closet that reads
Mini Bata- Chesapeake and charge admission! All funds earned could go to rescue!
Daddy, you should know... you can't take a visual count only. Those shoe boxes... some hold multiple pairs...
There, it's all out in the open now. Auntie Darlene, thank you for the apron. She has been dancing around the house wearing it. And thank you for the opportunity you gave me to unburden myself of this secret.
Looking at my naked paws, just like I like them