Monday, October 6, 2008

Open post to Momma

This was inevitable. I have to do this. Momma. Momma read this. Please.
JD, Wendy and I have been talking and we need for you to pay attention. We do love you, BUT... What on earth was going through your head when you conjured up that humiliating, horrid idea of putting us in pig costumes? And. Momma, you of all people... fur costumes on furry dogs on hot hot day? Granted you put them on long enough to parade us in front of judges and off they came {yeaah thanks to JD for the passive aggressive head shake!} BUT.... put us in PIG costumes. PIG.

Here are just a few... random logical thoughts...
We are Bichons. Beautiful, perfect, fluffy, sweet , loving, white, proud DOGS.
Our tail is GORGEOUS. Not some cork-screwy thing!
Momma, you get mad if we get one tiny bit of schmutz on us, but you dress us like mud wallowers?????? Ehmm mixed message?
Momma you whine about weight and count our snacks, and sneak green beans in our food [like we don't notice!] but you dress us like FAT pigs???? Ehmm what would a shrink say about that?
Momma, really. Wendy is taking it very personally. You need to apologize to her BIG time.

The only mitigating factor in this was the fact that you cast yourself as the big bad wolf.
We get the nuances. Predatory, aggressive, teeth bearing, vicious. While a departure from your usual animal spirit- the shark....animal spirit of all lawyers...- still very much in character, wouldn't you say?

Yes, JD dictated most of this. Can you tell? Next year when buying us costumes, will you please choose something more appropriate? How about this... DON'T buy anything.

We still love you
'vie. JD and the Wendy too

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