Wednesday, February 4, 2009

HUMAN Idiotsyncrasies

Idiotsyncrasies or as I define it... Crazy stupid habits.... from the root Idiot and cransies [old way of saying crazy- I think. ]

I mean, 2leggeds are governed by, limited by, inspired by, motivated by, condemned by...EVERYTHING by.... their idiotsyncrasies.

I am fascinated and tormented by the lot of idiotsyncrasies. If I were to reduce all factors relating to said idiotsyncrasies to a single factor, that factor being time and time alone... I say I am owed about 10 yrs of life wasted waiting for the fulfillment of one or more of said idiotsyncrasies. [Dog years of course! I am only 2 in human years!]

What am I talking about??? Hmmm? Female 2 leggeds. Morning ritual. Why do you dirty your face up after you spent time washing it??? Yea, call it make up, whatever, it is dirt. And after you spent an hour washing the hair, you comb it, you blow it dry [like it wouldn't dry on its own! Another one of those idiotsyncrasies... you waste time to "hurry things up"] Oh then! THEN! You "spray" the hair and make it DIRTY again.

The painting of the nails??? Why??? It stinks. No, really. It stinks up the room. And speaking of smells, everything you smear, spray, dip, dab etc... on you smells...

Layers of clothes. Ok, I am willing to allow you a layer. You need it as you are sadly hairless [I saw you shave the legs... so in part it is your fault..., but whatever] do you really need soooo many layers? Under, over... in the middle... idiotsyncrasies. If we can agree on one layer that would be...45 minutes a day- SAVED. 45 minutes you could dedicate to giving your 4 legged a full body massage... 45 minutes spent on a meaningful activity!

Ok what is the deal with belts? Both females and males wear those. Why?
Ok ok... this is a real stumper. Ties. Holds the head in place? It is more like a leash? But why does the momma not hold the end? Why is it short? Idiotsyncrasies. I think it is a virtual leash. Or maybe it is like a choke leash? Ick.

While still on human males. Shaving. Except my daddy who has a beard like mine. I think that is why he is handsome. What is the deal with the butchering of flesh every morning??? Idiotsyncrasies.

Hey what is the point of coffee without foam???

And what is the deal with gas stations? You leave us in the car, you turn off the engine, you get out in all kinds of weather, then you stand around outside the car for some time, swipe your bank card, stand some more, come back in the car and whine about GAS... really...
Take beano and your gas issues... are history! You really need to go to a "station"?? Idiotsyncrasies.

Can you explain any of following in any other way besides....idiotsyncrasies:
Scruncee and or hair clips on me or you... [stay away from me] utensils, napkins, this whole clean thing... football, the Wii, monopoly.... baby talk, licking envelopes... and that spastic thing you do you call the crazy puppy dance?

That's what I thought. Idiotsyncrasies I have had to develop soooo much patience....

[ Re: Pic....Ya ya ya... momma caught me getting ready to sample a pillow corner....]

1 comment:

bichonpawz said...

Totally agreed!!! Hugs from Chloe and LadyBug in NY