Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The UPSIDE of cranky

Cranky momma decided she was cranky. [DUH... refer to prior post and pink SPANX incident] The horror of it it all  must have been so fresh in her mind that she rebelled against convention. Sit down. This one is going shock you.  Really.  Every single year since I can remember, Halloween has been the day of torture. Costumes, costume contests, sticky fingered Jr. two leggeds, strangers coming at our door demanding poison wrapped in different wrappers... the whole day was just horrid.  BUT, yesterday,  PPSPT  [Post Pink Spanx Personal Trauma] a new momma emerged. One who does not give a fig about expectations,  [fig was her measure, not mine. I am not even sure why figs...I mean I know our neighbor John grows them. Are they the new measure of wealth? I guess times are tough.]  Guilt ridden momma made us a wonderful dinner. She invited Uncle Phil to share dinner with us. And then she made her big announcement. NO COSTUMES.  She said dad was not here, a new Sheriff  was in town. [Really?  Did I miss an election?  Drat, Election candy is great, it is so minty you can suck air for days and chill everything  in your body]  She made this whole speech about not giving into DA MAN, being a child of the 70s. And ... and... blahhhhh, I am sorry I sort of tuned out after I heard the no costumes declaration. I sort of lost myself in watching my own tail wag wildly in a lasso cowboy pattern.  Really cool. I didn't even know I could that. Wow I could Toy Story the heck out --- what am I saying... shut up Silvie!.
So, in  classic transference  momma is pinning her anger from PPSPT on "DA MAN" and continuing with the transference  theme, she is taking a stand against DA MAN by abolishing costumes... Before I forget, does anyone knows this dude she calls DA MAN? He must be a puppy miller because he evokes the same kind of rage out of momma. My advice to him.... dude stay out of her way because she out to snip parts of you that are conventionally NOT snipped. That's all I am going to say. I like my life.
Post declaration, we had a great dinner. Interrupted only by the demands of the sticky fingered poison seekers in various get ups which soon became all too familiar... princess, vampire, cowboy, yawn, mummy ...penguin [?!] cool, and of course momma's favorite... Captain Kirk. She loved that costume. [Trekkie...]
I must say.  You do gain a different perspective when you are not engaged in your own personal fight to survive the costume.  You do become a critic.  My apologies to all I criticized... [ehm capt Kirk] But enough of that.

Daddy, I am sorry you were not here last night.  I know you love this holiday and you love organizing your full size poison bars to hand out to the kiddies.  I know this is your holiday. I think the kiddies missed you, but really as long as this new Sheriff is in charge, momma is not doing costumes. Don't be sad daddy. Think of it this way, you did not miss anything! :) But we ALL missed you. A lot. 

It occurred to me that these SPANX thingies could be used as THE reset button.  You know, any time momma gets unreasonable a quick peak at the pink horrors would bring back  the PPSPT feelings that caused such wonderful rebellion and transference.  Let's not forget that transference... So... maybe I should locate them and stash them. Bring them out when I need the desired effect.  I know, Macchiavellian of me. But then again, one must use what one has on paw.... it if called maximizing opportunities.

I do have one question. What is the purpose of the horrid pink SPANX?  I don't mean the unintended consequence, I mean its original intended purpose. Smooth? Smooth???? !!!! Seriously? And that is important why? Stop.  I want to preserve the fantasy that you  are an intelligent woman.



Tucker The Crestie said...

'Vie, I would like to write more to you today, tell you that I have a secret canine crush on you (OOPS, now not so secret), extoll the virtues of your lovely snow-white locks, the saucy deliciousness of the pretty pink bows you often wear at your ears, and the delight that the sight of your black button nose stirs in my heart. But alas, I cannot, as Mom is laughing so hard at this post that I fear she is about to pass out! She may even need mouth! It's a good thing I just brushed my teeth! (Here's hoping she remembered to brush her own after brushing mine!)

silvieon4 said...

Well, thank you Tuckie, blushing, I like you too. Even contemplate how impractical it would be to give mouth to a human? I mean.. they are sooo flat faced...

rocky-dog said...

Hi 'vie! You look absolutely marvelous in today's blog picture. You must have gotten a nice rest yesterday. Did you actually hide the pink spanx thing??? I think your idea to use it as the reset button is just right!

Yes, the evil holiday is over. All the poison is gone and Gigi and I had a great time last night. We got to sit on the front porch and help mama. Mama did do a funny -- she dressed up one of my babies (Baby the bichon toy) in a costume and put her with the pupkins. Gigi and I got to sit on the bench with mama. When the small 2leggeds came up mama introduced me and gigi and baby. We got lot's of nice petting from the 2leggeds and they all got suckered in by Baby! BOL Gigi and I wanted to roll around barking -- it was way toooooo funny.

I will have to ask mama about the person DA MAN -- I think mama might know him too and she often speaks of him -- actually in somewhat the same tone you describe your mama! Something must have happened to our mamas many years ago that they still have these very negative feelings for this person.

Kolchak Puggle said...

Vie...you've disappeared from my Google reader? Why is that?? Did we break up? I didn't even think anything of it until today, when I saw you had posted. Just where are your posts GOING?! Waaaah! I need my VIE!

Anyways, I am sorry that your Daddy was away for such a great Holiday. It's the Mama's second favourite holiday and she likes to do it up in astyle, but she doesn't like to do it up at all when the Daddy isn't here to enjoy it with us. My Mama says you should be nice to your Mama, since she is probably missing your Daddy something terrible, even if she is pretending to be all tough and rebellious. I bet she would have rather had the Judge home and you in costumes than to be cranky and sticking it to DA MAN. Just sayin'. I'm sending her some puggle snuggles.

silvieon4 said...

Kol, how did we break up? Nothing I was aware of doing. I am here. I think your momma and my daddy would love to do Halloween together. And Dowi, My husman sister. She just LOOOOOVEEES getting all dressed up. But they did promise to be home for Big Chicken day named after a country. And... daddy is coming home for their 'nniversary this weekend. Something about 34 yrs, you ain't just whistling dixie. That's what momma said. I am just looking forward to a daddy fest. Momma's crankies are best explained in the prior post. http://www.silvieon4.com/2011/10/good-bad-and-ugly.html

Ignore the food pics of the soup. Miser would not share any....grumble grumble...