Sunday, November 13, 2011

Back off- I am working here!


No, I don't want to play. I am busy.  I am working here.  Momma has the big chicken named after a country. TURKEY.  She gave it a bath and now she is ??? Putting it into a soaking bath of some kind. Fascinating. This whole thing is fascinating.  And disturbing. Earlier she gave us baths. [Different story involving a duck poop incident and the three of us "styling" duck poop....] Back to present.  She gave TURKEY a bath almost the same way she gave us baths. Sans the white beautiful coat of course.  TURKEY  is naked all the way to the skin. But same approach to washing it. That just gave me the chills. It had to be a coincidence. Yea, nothing at all to do with momma's "I am going to eat you all gone" game... right? She is not a cannibal.

So... what's with the soaking "tub"??? Ahhhh brining. That stuff smells delish on its own. Pretty big TURKEY. I am glad Adam is coming home, because I have some real concerns about momma lifting this thing once it gets hot and juicy and yummy. Pardon moi. Drool puddle.
I am watching every single detail of this prep. Have to.  JD used to do this job. But lazy is sleeping and this is too important to go unmonitored.  

Stop.  What are those little things?  Don't put so many peppercorns!!!! Not peppercorns?  But they look like peppercorns. Juniper berries? Let me sniff.  Ohh I like that smell.  I have smelled it before.  When do you do the massage? Ohhhhh after the brine. 

Boy oh boy.  To make  TURKEY so delicious you have to be really nice to it.  Washing it, soaking it, rubbing it, giving it lots of spices, they drying it.... and then, finally.... cooking it.  I love that last part.  Ok, not to be nosy or something but is this bird big enough for everybody to take home left overs? And momma, WE.... meaning you and us also need leftovers! Yes, WE do!!!  Maybe you should get an auxiliary turkey.  Ohhh ok. The breast sounds yummy. Does it come with a fat liver? Yes, I do too want some of the liver. 

 I am giving momma the stink eye.  She eats only the liver . I love the liver and she needs to "diversify" her tastes.  I want a piece of the liver.  I am tired of smelling it on her breath and wondering how delicious it was. This is the year I get liver, and I mean TURKEY liver!!!

Wendy Pooh... move over you are blocking my view. I am on duty here...  Wait a sec,  what was that that you put inside the TURKEY?  It looked like a small bush. Ohh ok, a bouquet garni. Basically a small smelly bush that makes me hungry. Nice.

What do you mean?  Ahh show is over because TURKEY is not going into the fridge in the garage. Will it be safe?  Are you sure?  Do you need one of us to guard it?  We could take shifts?  No I have no idea who would walk off with a raw turkey.  But there are some strange people out there.... Momma are you sure it will be safe?  Ok. I am taking your word.

Everybody, let's follow momma out to the garage. Stay out of her way.... Follow, not lead!!!  If she falls the TURKEY is history!!!!

Oy vey!

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