Verona In VIRGINIA

JULIET

By whose direction found’st thou out this place?
[Is she kidding???duh... the Sunday ads... there is a sale going on! By daddy's NUVI directions!]

ROMEO

By love, that first did prompt me to inquire.

He lent me counsel and I lent him eyes.

I am no pilot. Yet, wert thou as far

As that vast shore washed with the farthest sea,

I would adventure for such merchandise.

[OMD... the only love he knows is the love of treats!!! What is going on???]

JULIET

Thou know’st the mask of night is on my face,

Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek

For that which thou hast heard me speak tonight.

Fain would I dwell on form. Fain, fain deny

What I have spoke. But farewell compliment!

Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say “ay,”

And I will take thy word. Yet if thou swear’st

Thou mayst prove false. At lovers' perjuries,

They say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,

If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.

Or if thou think’st I am too quickly won,

I’ll frown and be perverse and say thee nay,

So thou wilt woo. But else, not for the world.

In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,

And therefore thou mayst think my 'havior light.

But trust me, gentleman, I’ll prove more true

Than those that have more coying to be strange.

I should have been more strange, I must confess,

But that thou overheard’st, ere I was 'ware,

My true love’s passion. Therefore pardon me,

And not impute this yielding to light love,

Which the dark night hath so discovered.

[Shakespeare in CARE-A-LOT???? Are we kidding??? I am not sure I can take this emotionally.. Who made VERA WANG Juliet??? I mean did I miss an audition or
casting call or something???]

ROMEO

Lady, by yonder blessèd moon I vow,

That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops—

[Is is sooooo over acting!]

JULIET

O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon,

That monthly changes in her circle orb,

Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
[cute costume, I guess...]

ROMEO

What shall I swear by?
[GAG]

JULIET

     Do not swear at all.

Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,

Which is the god of my idolatry,

And I’ll believe thee
[Fool... believing him- ha!]

ROMEO

 If my heart’s dear love—

JULIET

Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee,

I have no joy of this contract tonight.

It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,

Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be

Ere one can say “It lightens.” Sweet, good night.

This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath,

May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.

Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest

Come to thy heart as that within my breast.

ROMEO

O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

JULIET

What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?

ROMEO

Th' exchange of thy love’s faithful vow for mine.

[This is making me queasy... this could turn a whole generation away from Shakespeare!!!!
Time to go..... ICK
I should have been Juliet!]

Get me a balcony now...
'vie