Have I got a deal for you!

So, let's chat. What is guaranteed access to the momma worth to you? I mean I could make sure that you get her attention at the most crucial times... ie when she is slicing a roast, or pancetta. These are prime times as you know. I could insure that you are the only one around and with a little coaching from me, you could learn to give her the googly eyes which produce nibbles.

This is a rare opportunity my friend. Not everyone has the inside track on momma like I do. And access like that does not come cheap. Essentially what I am guaranteeing you is "sole access" as opposed to having to compete for momma's attention with 2 other 4leggeds.
So what's it worth to you?

I think it is quite reasonable to tell you that I expect 6 chewies. You can pay me over time, and you can start by leaving two chewies on the desk as you walk out. And of course, this is a matter of utter confidentiality. Publicity would void the whole agreement and everyone loses.

You need to understand that I am giving up something here- my knowledge, my cache, my insight- and that you need to make that worth my while.

This is a business transaction, nothing more, nothing less. And by the by... momma knows nothing.

Your belly band is just a belly band, right? No camera or anything in there?

Learning from Fergie.
'vie