Thursday, May 27, 2010

Have I got a deal for you!

So, let's chat. What is guaranteed access to the momma worth to you? I mean I could make sure that you get her attention at the most crucial times... ie when she is slicing a roast, or pancetta. These are prime times as you know. I could insure that you are the only one around and with a little coaching from me, you could learn to give her the googly eyes which produce nibbles.

This is a rare opportunity my friend. Not everyone has the inside track on momma like I do. And access like that does not come cheap. Essentially what I am guaranteeing you is "sole access" as opposed to having to compete for momma's attention with 2 other 4leggeds.
So what's it worth to you?

I think it is quite reasonable to tell you that I expect 6 chewies. You can pay me over time, and you can start by leaving two chewies on the desk as you walk out. And of course, this is a matter of utter confidentiality. Publicity would void the whole agreement and everyone loses.

You need to understand that I am giving up something here- my knowledge, my cache, my insight- and that you need to make that worth my while.

This is a business transaction, nothing more, nothing less. And by the by... momma knows nothing.

Your belly band is just a belly band, right? No camera or anything in there?

Learning from Fergie.
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Mommy, I'm Home said...

HA! Very funny, 'vie. Better watch out you don't end up on the front of the National Enquirer.

silvieon4 said...

Bertrande MacLeod
Silvie-you're not in debt, are you? Living beyond your means? I realize chewies and bijoux and all the little things you require for La Belle Vie add up - but to resort to this? Let others sink to the level of lobbyist. You are above that, cherie.
16 minutes ago ·

Silvie Goldstein
Is that what I did? Ooops, but I was just reading that is how Fergie gets her spare change!. K. like Emily Latella says... NEVERMIND... I just knew it was too easy...
a few seconds ago

rocky-dog said...

Be careful 'vie -- you could be setting your self up for the scandal rags! You DO NOT want to wreck what you have with your mama and daddy. No amount of chewies is worth that! Rocky

Honeygo Beasley said...

Hahaha, I thought you were learning to be so witty from Tank. Or your momma.

Vie ... you are a pip!

Love the hat