waiting and WAITING and waiting

Am I the only one who is for ever waiting for my family to be ready?

They said we were going for a WALK. I am most cooperative at the prospect of any WALK. I am not stupid. I got ready immediately. I quietly let them put a leash on me. I sat down and I have been WAITING for ever (feels like 21 yrs) and 20 minutes. [Yes, rule against perpetuity model applies here- for all you legal nerds].

One needs to get tissues, the other is looking for his cell phone, then they have to make sure the tidy bag dispenser is full... the one has to tinkle... OMD... that ls what walks are for! You 2 leggeds have it all backwards. Can we go already???

I am aging here. I am also stressing out. And if you wait much longer it will be too hot to go for a walk! Get my portable water bowl, you know I don't drink from communal anything!!! Move it, move it move it... Momma says I act like Sgt. Carter. [Who is Sgt. Carter? What is a Gomer Pyle???] What ever.... LET'S GOOOOOOO already!

There are smells to be sniffed out there, doggies to greet... and you are standing between me and my social life and... now I HAVE to go tinkle!!!
Doing the pipi dance... Oh that got them going! [next time... I am short cutting straight to the pipi dance....]

Finally...

Byeeee ya'll going for my constitutional!
'vie