Thursday, April 22, 2010

Feather and life dilemma and feminism


My little life is full of dilemma. Yes, that is the right word. Dilemma. Here is the dilemma that has been keeping me up the last two nights. Feather Ducklear has been coming to deck for her duck buffet all alone. At first I was thrilled. Easier target, no? I had gone so far as to map out the 1 to three ratio and I was triangulating our moves. But then. Then, drat my curiosity. I started asking where Bill was. Momma kept mumbling about nests and egg sitting duties, but ultimately she admitted that all she knows about ducks is what is found in LAROUSSE GASTRONOMIQUE. That forced me to do some research and that is what has sparked my dilemma.

Bill Duckley is a "drake". Drakes are male mallards. Brace yourself... these ducks are opportunistic maters. They do not mate for life. They stick around long enough for the eggs to hatch and then they practice abandonment. Horrible. Uncivilized. Irresponsible. So... Feather is all alone. With babies to care for. ALONE.

As a 4legged of the female persuasion I am appalled by male behavior be it in man or beast. I do expect the highest and noblest behavior in all creatures. Bill Duckley is no exception.

So, knowing what I know, can I bring myself to eat Feather? I know... she would be delicious. She has been well fed. [Thank you momma] BUT... Can I, a girl victimize another girl???

I have done so much soul searching on this, I am literally all searched out. The truth of the matter is... I cannot. I have informed JD and Wendy of this and they concur, although JD seems to be quite reluctant.

The conclusion we have reached and that we all agree on, is that from here on, all male mallards, "drakes" are fair game. After all they are not what I would call civilized. So if you see a drake, brake out the duck sauce and enjoy. Please, do not touch, molest or otherwise victimize the female mallards, as we are trying to emancipate them.

We should start support groups and give emancipation seminars to female mallards. Life is so hard. And to be betrayed like this by another in your own species, must be horrid!

The burdens of knowledge are responsibility and duty.

Sigh
'vie

6 comments:

Mommy, I'm Home said...

Wait! You mean that whole Make Way for Ducklings book where papa duck finds a home for his family in that Boston hotel was a big lie? He actually went off and ditched them and left the mama duck to go it alone? I am so disgusted! Really! What is wrong with the male duck species?????

silvieon4 said...

It was all a lie, a fat lie. My tail went down when I realized that... That drake was off conduckling with some other ducklebimbo. Sad ha? Shaking my head. My new mission has been to talk to Feather and preach and teach... Freedom baby, equality!

bermudabluez said...

hmmmmm...would it be wrong to say that all men are the same??? You made the right decision 'vie!

Samantha said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Marshmallow said...

So, Feather's baby daddy flew the coop?! That's so sad. She and her kids will be better off without that deadbeat duck. Maybe he'll beg for food around a Chinese restaurant and get turned into Peking Duck. :) As for Feather, she has some important lessons to learn from you...Girl Power!!

silvieon4 said...

Well. I am stunned. I am stunned that I won a gorgeous Bichon candle that is so cute that I'll probably try to eat it! I am also stunned and appalled by the behavior of male mallards - whew! That is furry, furry, feathery sad for poor mama ducky. I'll join your ranks and rants! And I want to say a bigtime thank you so much for sending me that beautiful candle - so cute, just like you! Samantha