Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Pet PEEVES: "air petting"

Nice 2leggeds DO NOT air pet. Period. End.

"Air petting" is the cruel practice of pretending to pet a lovable pooch (for example, me) while never actually making contact with the pup. 2leggeds go through the motion of petting, they just do it several inches above actual fur. It drives me crazy!

Like "air kisses," air pets reek of insincerity and must to be avoided in polite company. Honestly. If you cannot bring yourself to touch me, pretending is just not good enough. It is downright insulting. I am supposed to sit there and pretend to enjoy your "air petting"? Just stop it.

You know who you are. Don't make me out you. I will, you know. It is that offensive to me.

I am soft, I am clean, I smell like a cupcake, so what is your issue? Power play? Really? You are that desperate?

Peeved, miffed and muffed

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