Wednesday, July 30, 2014

MAX MAIL! The grass patchie thingie

Arlington, VA, 7/29/2014
On my balcony.

Dearest Silvie, JD and The Wendy too,
it is my sincerest hope that my letter finds you all in glowing health and knee deep in chewies. Speaking of which, how is your momma?  And your daddy?  Oh yes, I just saw your daddy. You will be happy to know he did not look at any other dog while he was here. You have trained him beautifully. When he talks about you, he gets this sweet almost dog like look in his face!.  Very well done, guys. I am was impressed.

I wanted to send you pictures of this place I have that is called a "balcony".  I love it, it is like a giant deep open window into the city. But recently my momma has placed an odd thing out here and I am somewhat at a loss as to use and function.  I am hoping that one of you can give me some insight.

First of all.... do you note the yellow pee cone? It was part of my agility training set, but yellow always makes me pee... and apparently now it must live on this ... rug? Towel? Patch? Grassy thingie????
Look at the picture.... It is small. Can't roll on it. Can't really stretch on it.  Can't dig it.

I have tried to ignore it. Apparently that was the wrong move. My hooman went on and on and on for ever and two days about how much she wants me to USE IT.  Use what??? How???

I have tried very hard to understand what she wants.  I hope I am wrong.  I think she wants me to use it for pee mail.  Odd.  This patch thingie is small, it is in MY balcony, and nobody else would have access to it, so why would I pee mail on it? I mean I pee mail all over the city, as I should! Arlington is MY turf now!

What would be the point of pee mail that is read by no one????

Oh she also said, that I should use it because I get a fresh "patch" every week. Wait, do you think when they take the old patch away it is sent somewhere where it is read by other dogs? Talk about complicated!!!  I am confused and I am at a loss. Your input is much appreciated. When I peed on the yellow cone, which happened to still be on "the patchie thingie" she did a dance... if only I had her cell phone, you tube would have had a new viral hit...'nuff said.

On other fronts, I have been winning small victories at training my hooman.  She actually cooks well and  pays attention to my likes and dislike. I have tried not to act too eager just to peak her concern and so she does not get bored or stale.  That was great advice Wendy!  JD, while I have tried to bury myself in her hair, it is just not my thing. But I do give her kisses which immediately melts her to her core. But best of all Silvieon4, your advice about the Disney eyes and puppy look, SPOT ON!  She has zip resistance to it.  I even tested in adverse conditions.... yea, I did it, the old toilet paper roll unravel trick. I must say, she passed with flying colors.

For the most part, we are really doing quite well. I occasionally de squeak a toy or two [GUYS I HAVE SO MANY TOYS!!!! I love it] and I watch as she does surgery on them. Love my daily walks.  Had the flattering and insulting experience of having a hooman wanting to buy me for 700 dollars! I gave him the eye roll.  I am beyond price tags!  I am not "product"!  I am not "thing"!!!!!  I AM BICHON you dumb person. My momma was stellar, she handled it very well... somewhere , on some couch, that person is working with a shrink to find his dignity. I do love her.  She is fiercely protective of me. But a little neurotic. Does not handle me chasing game. No squirrels, no rabbits, no birds, no cars. What is up with that?

The other interesting development is the TV thing. Do you know that on my TV I get to see CATS?  Yea, for real. CATS!  They miao and everything! I have now spent serious time trying to figure out how to get them out. I just want one. You know, to play with. All I get from my momma is "Dude, you have to get over this cat fixation" Why????  Do you guys get to play with that Cooper cousin? He was kind of aloof.

Let's see, am I forgetting anything? Mhh. Love the city.  Love the lobby still and love the courtyard most. But I also love the parks.  JD, you would not believe how many girls I have met and I am now "friends with". Silvie and Wendy, it's a guy theng...

I am thinking that when I come down on vacay, [yea we are coming! Soon even! My momma said so!] we should hang out and maybe do the boardwalk.  I hear that the smells at the beach are completely out of this world.  Looking forward to sniffing it all.

Well, I have to go hang out and get my nap in, When my mom comes home for lunch she drags me out for a long walk!  She has needs, what can I say?

Woofs and wags to all
Fuzzy Overlord

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