Thursday, January 5, 2012

thoughts that keep me up at night

1.Global warming/ cooling/ polarity shifting, I am not sure I could pull off the upside down look...
2.That piece of chewie under the loveseat in the Florida room... nobody but momma can reach it, but she won't even try because she does not believe it's actually there. 
3.That whole mess with Chinese treats that are killing dogs. What if, for some reason we are in the care of someone who can't read labels and they give us one of those chewies???What then?
4. How do I keep my tail from getting all frizzy and my ears from puffing out? Sometimes I swear I look poodleish!
5. The elections. What a cruel farce of what it should be ideally. [ I know I am deep.]
6. I can't remember the last time I saw Red Butt.
7. I wish I knew the name of the food I licked off momma's finger.  It was delicious, but boy was she not happy. I think she wanted to lick it selfish, ha?
8. I don't get smoking. What is up with that?  Sucking on a dried leaves rolled up in paper while they burn???? EW.
9. How come none of those political "candidates" [yea quotes... because more and more they are manufactured...] ever talk about the real issues, like puppy mills, animal abuse... animal food regulations? Are they too deep in the pockets of the wrong side or do they just lack moral conviction?
10. How do those little bubbles get into momma's water?  And why are they there?
11. Momma is a sock hoarder. She is obsessed about matching them and then she puts them in a drawer and there are zillions of them.
12. What's the point of lipstick if I am not allowed to lick it off of momma's and Dowi's lips?
13. I get momma's thing with fake fur. She was born naked and she wants to be more like me. Does fake fur get fake fleas?
14. Without tails, without sniffing butts, what exactly determines what is attractive?  I have no idea how humans determine what is beautiful... 
15. Why can't I have my own tray of condiments? I love mustard, wasabe and berbere`!
16. How do you tell the breed of a human? They all look the same to me.
17. Ack-run must be an icky place. Daddy smelled sad when he had to go back there.
18. How do I know my Adam does not cheat on me with some other dog?
19. If Kol came to Va, would he like crab legs as much as we do?
20. Why can't they design a car I can operate with my paws?  I need more freedom.

See what I mean?  So many things keep me up at night. These are only the top 20. Well, at least I have company. Insomniac momma is always up.



Kolchak Puggle said...

Wow, those are some very deep thoughts for late night! 1. Be persistant with the chewie in the Florida room. Once night I barked at the sideboard for nearly and hour, until the Mama pulled it out and I could retrieve the single bite of kibble behind it. (I secretly think this is why I don't get kibble anymore!) 2. I want to know about the socks and the bubbles too. 3.Adam could NEVER cheat on a pretty girl like you, could he?! 4. I asked the Mama and she says I can't eat those belly-scurrying red ant looking things because she is allergic and she can't have my kisses killing her. Too bad. They sound tasty!

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh my word!! BOL, you better not think so much
Benny & Lily