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Monday, January 23, 2012

dear Dr Sheldon Cooper



Dear Sheldon,
This letter is completely outside my comfort zone, and yet I am compelled to write it. Why? Perhaps because you frustrate me so much. 

How, just tell me how, a supposedly intellectual giant like yourself can be so developmentally arrested as to be completely fixated by cats. CATS!  of all creatures.  I can live with your Koala issue. They are cute, they are lovable. but CATS????!

I put up with your horrid lullaby "Soft Kitty, pretty Kitty... blah blah..." but for Einstein's sake, Shelly, it is time you evolve! It is time for you to experience a real relationship with the ultimate friendship bond. It is time you get a dog!
I would suggest a Bichon like moi. I am softer than any cat in the universe. I am cuter than any cat in the universe, and I know how to show you complete loyalty, love, devotion and understanding. Yes, understanding.  I know my way around physics, I would not go blank when you talked quasars, black energy, white dwarfs, etc. As I am a post Hubble baby, I have no issue with the ever expanding universe theory and I am absolutely secure in the knowledge that my stardust DNA was positively stellar. [insert giggle here]

Sheldon, you owe yourself a try at a relationship with a dog. You have to evolve. Otherwise...you risk making your character unbelievable.
I volunteer.  I can draft an agreement for you to look over and perhaps we can reach some sort of mutually beneficial relationship. 

By the way, Zachary Quinto is ehh as SPOCK. But, really, everyone pales in comparison to Quark. Well actually MOOGIE is my personal idol and yes, you need not ask I do have the lobes.

Well, hoping to hear from you.
the one and only, 'vie

3 comments:

Kolchak Puggle said...

oh Vie, how can you not love the ♪soft kitty♫ song?! Even I like it and i am not at all fond of c*ts. I agree though, Shelly NEEDS a dog. I think he would enjoy the simple relationship between man and canine, free from the social expectations and emotions that often baffle him in human relations. Good call 'Vie. Good call indeed.

Foley Monster and Pocket said...

We agree. So many TV characters need dogs. House, Olivia Benson, Sue Sylvester. We would help out so much

silvieon4 said...

Koly, I don't really mind the music, but enough with the cats already! Just gave me 20 minutes alone with Sheldon. Give us a couch, and some privacy. I don't want to brag, but my belly ha curative powers. Rub it and find your tender core.
I think Sheldon should try me, really.