Sunday, April 10, 2011
You really think it's ok to put that much salt???? Daddyyyyyyy! You are supposed to grind sel de mer. Who wants to eat chunks of salt? Fine, whatever, your funeral. If you are cooking for momma you should listen to me. I watch, I listen, I know her taste, I share her food!!!
No, no, put down the truffle oil. Stick to what you know. [I hate truffle oil] What is that? Oh so why are you not using the asparagus peeler? Fine use the stupid potato peeler. And you NOT going to do the asparagus song and dance? You know, it, momma does it all the time. You know how she imitates the vendor and says : "Asssspaaaarrra GASSS". Well yea, you have to do it. It's what makes them yummy. See, by the time she finishes her song and hip dance it is perfectly cooked. No song. No dance.... I just don't know why I even bother telling you all these secrets. We hate mushy asparagus, just so you know.
Noooooo. You are NOT going to use dry herbs. Go out to the deck, we have lots of fresh ones growing. I am going to lose every curl on my head if this lasts much longer. The stress. Daddy... Pinot Grigio.... splash it...., it deglazes and it is yummy. Why are you sooo timid? A dab???? OMD! SPLASH IT! It's not perfume!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so tired. One heart attack after another. Oh... he is going to plate this. Ok... let's see... Mhh looks ok. I will know more after I taste it. Heyyyy where are you going? You are going to just serve that up to her, without benefit of the royal taster????? Yuh. Moi. Duh.... That's it. I am just shutting up. No point . I have worked my paws to the bone trying to guide you, but you know what they say. Non c'e` piu` sordo di chi non vuole sentire. Oh, suddenly you what to know something from me??? It means none is deafer that the one who does not want to listen. Hello MCFlyyyy do you get that?
I will go up with you. I want to see momma's face when she sees and tastes this. He has violated every protocol... I did not even get to taste it. Frumpt.
Mh. She is smiling. She is eating it. Wait... she called it "PERFECTION"? Are you kidding???? He did not do the asparagus song and dance even!!! She really loves it.
Heyyyy not to steal any one's thunder or anything, but I helped, I supervised, I guided... do I get any recognition???? How about my taste? Clean plater. That is unreal. I am so.... ferklempt...