Sunday, May 24, 2009

Potential REPLACEMENTS and considering options

Following my recent "abandonment"... a conference... vacation... whatever...

I've decided to stop sitting on my paws and start exploring my options. Should this occur again, I want momma to know I am contemplating some other options.

I will not simply live without a momma, ya know? So, in light of my abandonment, I'm considering replacement options. Yes, you read that right. I've complied a list of candidates and I would really appreciate your input.

Potential momma #1: Martha Stewart
  • Pros: Cooks like momma, keeps a very clean house, designs pillows for me to chew on
  • Cons: Ex-con, probably too busy to rub the bells very much, will get mad if I chew on her pillows.
Potential momma #2: Paula Abdul
  • Pros: won't notice if I chew on her pillows, will always compliment my outfits
  • Cons: possibly on drugs, will make me wear outfits
Potential momma #3: Michelle Obama
  • Pros: really good fetch-throwing arm, bigger house, private chef, close to dowi and adam
  • Cons: give up all my privacy, have to share attention, have to pose for photos all the time (see how that's a con, future ex-momma?)
Potential momma #4: Kate Gosselin
  • Pros: 20 hands for petting (or 18?), tons of toys, getting to do interviews where I answer off-camera producers' questions
  • Cons: 20 hands for bugging me, maybe not the most stable home?
Potential momma #5: Paula Deen
  • Pros: great cook like momma, fun accent, I can give dowi one of the Paula's hot sons for her birthday
  • Cons: rich foods might spoil my girlish figure, I think her sons are married, will make up funny nicknames for me like, "honey-butt sugarpie". Also, tells weird stories about goats.
So, what do you guys think? Anyone have any other good suggestions?

Auntie Robin, I am also considering you, but ... is Dude always going to be your fav????

free agently,


Honeygo Beasley said...

This is a fun post! I'd go with Paula Deen. She's got good rugs for peeing on if you get mad at her for ever leaving you ... which she might do every now and then, as she does have speaking engagements. She's going to be in Georgia next month - maybe you can hit her up then! You're not too far from her, right? Virginia - Georgia? It's down south ... well, at least it is to us up here in the "north."

bichonpawz said...

Oh, Oh! I have an idea....Rachael Ray!!! She Rocks the Kitchen!!! Check it out here....

And you could probably get her to ditch are MUCH cuter!!! And MUCH more fun!!

Great post!!

Honeygo Beasley said...

Yeah, and Rachel Ray has her own line of dog food. One of my neighbors eats it.

whitedogresq said...

Dearest Baby Silvie,

My favorite dog is the one I am holding.....come visit. We have a wonderful swing in the backyard!

Much love,

Auntie Robin