Friday, October 14, 2011

Human speak

JD is the human speak master at our house. The boy just simply knows everything. His knowledge of human speak is so fantastic that he knows first generation, second generation and third generation words that will lead to food, ride, walk and or fun.

One, he is a master at watching the two leggeds.  He never gets bored. Two, he is fantastic at reading their faces. But three, and this is a big one, he has mastered the art of understanding two leggeds because, JD knows how to link word to consequence. For example who knew that momma saying "We are out of milk" means a ride opportunity?  Well it does! JD taught me that.
Here, he is just watching momma talking to daddy. To most dogs, it is a lot of "Blah blah blah blah blah...."

Does JD walk away? No.  He simply watches. Then he hears the magic word combination..."Sale, need and today". Just when I was going to go upstairs and fluff up a pillow for a long nap, JD alerts me that we are going out.... momentarily. How does he do it?  How does he know?

So, I stand up and get ready... I know that JD is never wrong!   I ask him what the magic word was that triggered the two leggeds's action.  I mean... how do we know they are going to be going out? He said "SALE" and "NEED" always equal out.  If you add today.... it means out really soon. Wow. I am in awe of him. He gave us a short lesson last week. He gave us a list of second generation trigger words... "Stir crazy=ride, needs gas in my car=ride, dropping off stuff, picking up stuff, going to the bank, to the post office, dry cleaner, errands, all = ride" Anything followed by "we are out of...."= ride opportunity.

And this is The Wendy who is happy to have smart JD to tell her when we are going for a ride. And that second generation word stuff works for food opportunity as well. Momma saying "I am starving" means food is coming out. Momma's starving is a short window of  food opportunity . Her starving is good for about 3 bites. Where daddy would actually get a plate out, make a sandwich, get accouterments, etc. Momma is likely to eat 3 tablespoons of yogurt and call it a day.  So if you want something get there quickly and be resigned to the possibility of yogurt or tofu... or cucumber.  And that brings me to another important point. All two leggeds are NOT the same. Some are more food beneficial and some are more ride beneficial and some are just plain more fun. [ I am not naming names because... I know which side of my bread is buttered.. ehmmmm human expression applicable even to those who use fake spray butter... I am not naming names... ick fake butter....brrrrr shiver.....]

So, we four leggeds have to learn to navigate the household and master the humans around us. I hope to become as proficient in human speak as JD.  Until then, I bow to the master.



Two French Bulldogs said...

Wow you are smarter than a human bean!
Benny & Lily

silvieon4 said...

than many of them, for sure!