Friday, October 21, 2011

Be honest with me, please.

JD and the Wendy just dismissed me.  They think I am an alarmist. [I don't even know what that is, and I don't have one of those dinging things in my tush, so I have no idea what they are even saying...] but I am concerned and I just have to reassure myself.

With four leggeds you never know what is normal vs abnormal.

Yesterday momma had one purple eye.  Just one. She said the shingles gave it to her.  She was not even outside and no shingles came off the roof.  So why does she keep blaming the shingles? This fixation is strange. She is getting so weird. The shingles make her cranky.  They make her sleepy, they make her achy.... the shingles get blamed for everything.  You get the picture? Then we drove to a place and she went to see her "eye doctor". Yea, for real.  Human Vets only do parts apparently. They don't do the whole thing. This one must have been a right eye doctor. Do you suppose the left eye doctor is next door?  After a long time, momma came back with a tiny bottle and started squirting stuff in her purple eye. [Let me tell you a secret. When I saw that purple eye, I kept hearing the one eyed purple people eater song which has always fascinated me. Are there people eaters?  Do they ever stray and eat small white dogs as appetizers? No? Does anyone know for sure?]

Anyway, this morning the purple eye was not purple anymore. Momma seems happy. She said that she is battling the shingles with a full arsenal of pharmaceuticals.  If you ask me, all I see is pills being swallowed left and right. And, get this, she does NOT wrap them up in delicious prosciutto or liverwurst. She just swallows them. Talk about missed opportunities! This alone makes her abnormal in my eyes.

I think this whole shingles thing is strange. Why does everyone keep validating it? Really.  Someone should confront momma and force her to face the fact that shingles are good. They keep the rain out of the house. And the bugs, and the bird poop, and dirt, and leaves...

And then there is that whole bony issue. Momma's lap is getting uncomfortable. She is getting bonier and watching her get dressed in the morning is a real show.  She does this "B- bye" thing with clothes that are refusing to stay on her body. "B-bye" and they get put in a box.  BUT she keeps the PJs that swallow her up. Seriously. They are so big that the pants are all bunchy because the string has to be tight for them to stay up. The top looks like an ugly dress. But no b-bye for them.... She loves the tentjamas. I call them that. Explain that to me. 

Like I said. She is getting weirder and weirder. Even for momma.

One more thing. the B-bye attitude apparently does not apply to shoes. When the shoe is too big, there is moaning, groaning, whining, sadness, inserts, cursing, and all around misery. 
So far, only one pair has gone into THE box.

And then there is that whole wake up in the middle of the night issue. JD and Wendy just ignore her. They at best open one eye, and then go right back to sleep. Moi, I am cursed with loyalty and duty. If she goes to the couch, I follow... if she decides to go cook, I follow... I wish she would stop it and stay asleep. This is ruining my sleep patterns. Yea, you got it, she blames the shingles for this too. And can I tell you something?  For a woman who can't operate a TV remote, she has actually figured out how to operate it enough to get her on demand stuff. You can never have too much screaming  from Abby Lee Miller... in the middle of the night... 

So... what do you advise? A shrink? [I worry about shrinking her too much. As it is, she is pretty "shrunk down". Any more and she might not be able to reach my treats.] An intervention?  I have watched those on TV - [Yes, of course, right after Abby Lee Miller's screaming fits, crying and whining and interventions are a natural follow up...] or do I just let her "ride it out" and hope that it resolves itself?  

I just dunno....
perplexed moi



Anonymous said...

Wow. You have a real dilemma. I hope you don't have to go the intervention route, but if I heard Abby Lee Miller in the middle of the night I'd be forced to do something drastic... very drastic. There's just no call for that.
Good luck and I sincerely hope the shingles go away soon. They must be miserable.

divakat said...

miss shadow asks me to say:

my mama is JUST as bad! she goes to bed and plays on her ifone and reads things and is VERY good at staying IN the bed, but oh my dogs she will NOT go to sleep! then she grumbles in the morning, and then she wants to go BACK to sleep after she's given me good breakfast.

i'm a very good girl and go RIGHT to snuggling her and making her sleepy...and then lie on her when i get her back in bed. silly mama not sleeping at night, you know?

(she takes lots of pills too. and with NO yummy treats!)

silvieon4 said...

Hoomans. Can't live with them, can't live without them!

Anonymous said...

Here is what I found about shingles (not the roof type). Silly humans give long, hard to remember names to illness then give it a silly easy name.
The earliest symptoms of herpes zoster, which include headache, fever, commonly followed by sensations of burning pain, itching, hyperesthesia (oversensitivity), or paresthesia ("pins and needles": tingling, pricking, or numbness).The pain may be mild to extreme in the affected dermatome, with sensations that are often described as stinging, tingling, aching, numbing or throbbing, and can be interspersed with quick stabs of agonizing pain.

Herpes zoster in older people are more likely to get zoster as they get older, and the disease tends to be more severe.
In other words your HuMom has what my Mom calls the hebbie Jeebbies, pain causing her to get up and move around trying to find comfort and NO rubbing my belly only lasts so long! Sheeeeeesh!

My Mom also likes the big comfey nite cloths. No style here either!!!!!

silvieon4 said...

Anonymous, got to tell you, the momma's shingles are inside her spine. So, she has shingles and post herpetic neuralgia. I call it B**ch to the 3rd power. She says everything hurts, and everything annoys her. And sometimes we catch her wearing her high shoes while in her nightgown or tentjamas...Just bizarre...She also has nicknames for her pills. Seriously, we are talking a blink away from the nuthouse...