Tuesday, October 18, 2011

APB* issued for momma's sanity and taste

Silvie: "Why are we running off? Costumes??? OMD, that time of the year.  Do we even know what this year's humiliation is?"
The Wendy: "I don't know, but I am scared to death.  You know she is dressing us for the Bash on Saturday. And... she has some sort of black schmatta that is supposed to be her costume".
Silvie: "Ugh... she has a costume? theme???? what is it with her and "themes"? Well look before we go bonkers, we need to know what the atrocity will  be. So, you go take your usual hiding spot under her chair with your butt hanging out and I will go investigate. Wish me luck"

Silvie: "Mh.  3 costumes all the same... weird striped wrapper. big ugly black and white stripes.
Come on, take it out of the package...no. OMD. NO NO NO NO NO... the ugly stripes are on the costumes!!!! Woman are you insane? Horizontal stripes? I am going to have to go on a juice cleanse just to put that stupid thing on and not look like a continent! Hours of watching Rachel Zoe, Stacey and Clinton, the two Brits and you learned nothing???? In which universe does a female want to wear horizontal stripes... ever??? What the @#$%T!@! kind of costumes is this?
Prison wear???? If I had thumbs they would be down my throat and I would be tossing my cookies. Really, come on, you really don't expect us to wear this in public... at a Bash, in front of our friends? Do you understand the depth of humiliation you are inflicting on us? And where is your stupid striped costume?? Oh no stripes for you. ...how convenient. your costume looks like...a judicial robe? OMD, did you steal it from daddy???  No? It's really yours? No wonder the legal system is in the toilet. I am having a conniption... no I am having  discomfiture, neurasthenia, call DR Klemm!  I can't go out on Saturday!"

The Wendy: "I think I am going to die...of shame... her taste level has hit a new low... horizontal stripes...prisoner... I thought nothing would be as bad as the Daisy Dukes she put on me... Have I NOT suffered enough?  I am a rescued dog, I paid my dues, why are  you torturing me??? "

Silvie: "How many calories are in water?  Because I think I will be dining on water until Saturday. I used to love you momma... "

The Wendy: "Wait... if we lick button 1 on the phone, that calls daddy! Can we call daddy and tell him that the old gal has finally jumped the track? Maybe he can talk to her....let's lick 1!!!!"
Don't bother calling Dowi...she is dressing like a dinosaur of some kind with horns... [yea... for realsy, on purpose even] and Adam... he is also doing some sort of costume... they are infected with Halloweenitis...

Stripes...OMD... we have been pigs...skunks, pirates, fairies, angel winged...chef hatted...what is wrong with this woman??????

Halloweenitis is a horrible disease.... horrible...

*ABP is an all points bulletin... cop lingo for we are telling everybody on you.


Tucker The Crestie said...

Oh, 'Vie and The Wendy! This sounds really serious! Mom got a big box delivered last week that she wouldn't let us investigate, but I got a glimpse of a blue gingham dress, some kind of silvery getup, something with denim and straw, and this big piece of brown something or other that looked like a baby lion. We don't know what she's planning, exactly, but we're scared! We need help! We need someone with some sort of magical powers ... a wizard perhaps?

silvieon4 said...

boy a wizard would come in pawy...My insane momma has "back up costumes"... something with a bustier.that laces up... my toes curl under at that thought... where is her common sense??? Her good taste?

rocky-dog said...

HAHAHA! see that's what you guys get for living with a costume civilian! Since mama is in charge of the WHOLE costume warehouse here at work, I don't have to worry about costumes. Mama told me she would NEVER EVER do that to me. In fact she mumbled something the other day that she hates hates hates halloween. Sumpthing about too many crazy people calling to rent costumes for parties! So I think I'm safe. So Tucker, Silvie and Wendy (JD too) you guys just hop on a plane and come on out her to California and mama will protect you from the civilian costume zombies! (I watched the Walking Dead last night with Daddy -- mama said it was way too stupid for her to waste time on!)Oh man Tucker -- are you in for it -- sounds like the Wizard of Oz for your family -- maybe if you chew up the ruby slippers you won't have to dress up.

Two French Bulldogs said...

You better call daddy quick
Benny & Lily

bichonpawz said...

We can totally relate...mama has already tried our "suits" on us. Halloween should be outlawed.

"She" doesn't have to dress up and go out in public...she just makes US do it!! Then they take photos! **Gasp**

At least we don't have to wear horizontal stripes! (Although one year she had me wear a French Maid Costume! OMD!!! Try to hang in there...we will check our stash and see if we can send you some green papers so you can go and visit RockyDog!

Marshmallow said...

I feel your pain, Silvie. We will go through our yearly degrading episode too. I haven't seen this year's humiliation, but you know it's not good.