Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Wendy hears thunder

First that worried look. Then the search for a "safe place" like under the couch or in daddy's closet or anywhere where she can't see or hear the storm. And she gets the shakes, sometimes. Boy, do I work super hard calming down that girl! Momma tried for a long time to calm down the Wendy, but her dog language is rudimentary, she lacks the idioms and the dialect that shortcut four legged language. Folks, I have taught her the rudimentary pant pant huff, but...beyond that, it's a struggle. Chalk it up to "human limitations". They can't hear as well, so when they talk dog... they "chew up" entire barks and the sounds are all muffled and sort of underwater sounding. You do what you can, but... beyond that it seems beyond reach,  at least until that universal translator is ready.  Get on that STAT.

In any case, the trick to calming "The Wendy" is to engage her in some esoteric argument about something she cares about. One of Wendy's hot buttons is irresponsible back yard breeders. Wendy thinks back to her life before rescue and her fear is washed away by her anger at how things were. To her credit, she does not dwell on what was. But she does rage about what should be. Momma, you have rubbed off on the Wendy, BIG TIME! Esoteric argument for this storm: what do you think should be done about with backyard breeders? Well, her answer is obviously colored by her own experience: they should be tied to a tree with a big chain and left there day and night in the sun, in the rain, in the rot. Let the fleas and mosquitoes feast on them. OK.

By the time the Wendy is done raging out, I will have licked her face, agreed with her nearly a zillion time, and gently, slowly, I will have steered the conversation to the delectable din din we got  last night and how it is genius to de-glaze the pan by adding carrots which generally are...ehh blahh ...and turn them into chicken glazed yummy bites. Genius.Wendy LOVES chicken and chicken flavored anything.

Now you have hot button no.1.  Food. Oh, you didn't know? Oh yuh, The Wendy is a gourmand. That booty of hers is not an accidental homage to K. Kardashian, it is earned. By the time she is done describing the gustatory attributes of home cuisine, the storm is over and we are all looking for a nosh. I am like a headshrinker or something! I am! And, I do feel I deserve some sort of treat as pay for my work.

By the way, the last time momma tried to dog "speak" she succeeded in saying "poop poop poop". Of course we girls still laugh about it! JD thinks we taught her poop on purpose and he was not thrilled. But, come on, I am just waiting for the next time momma is frustrated enough to try dog talk again and her "poop poop poop" is uttered, I bet even JD will laugh.


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