Friday, May 4, 2012
I am mad enough to alphabet you!
I am so mad. So very very very mad. My rage is at a boiling point. Guess what I found on momma's desk?... Yup, one of those stupid things. A grooming appointment card. For real! Can you believe it? Is she meshuggeneh or what? I swear such obsessive behavior. Do I even look like I need a grooming appointment?
You know, I have observed an interesting behavior from angry two leggeds, they alphabet each other! They do. You will hear "F" U! Apparently that is a serious insult. But really, it does not begin to define how I feel. You, momma, deserve far less than an F. You did not just FAIL, you literally have ruined any chance you had of being momma of the year. In fact, at best you can become known as X momma of the year. Yea... that's right. Try living with that!
Either cancel that grooming session, [torture] or I will alphabet you! Wanna try it on for size?
"X U momma!!!! X U from the bottom of of sweet, tender, loving little heart, X U!!!!"
Why are you not picking up the clue phone? You enjoyed being Xed????
I just don't get you at all. You do realize, X is a letter of the alphabet, right? I Xed you unless you cancel that appointment? Are we clear on that?
Fine, I am no longer communicating with you.
X- U Momma
your loving ex- baby girl 'vie
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Uh oh! Alphabet mad is REALLY mad! That momma better get dialing ... and quick!
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