Monday, April 20, 2015

I need to renegotiate my contract

It has been a few intense days. And the next time momma says I am high maintenance, someone please point to the calendar entries for this week and set her straight. Paws down, bar none, JD has been in crisp focus in the spotlight. Where was momma?  Where was daddy?  Both hanging on for dear life and both losing they mind.

You know that JD had a cataract removed. Surgery was stellar, recovery was fine, until the cone of shame. Then 2 things happened.  One... Mr JD had little or no peripheral vision while wearing the cone and that made him take a misstep and injure his R rear leg. Given his trick knee, momma was upset, but not crazed.  Then, the cone of shame came off, and his royal pain in the tuchus, JD, scratched his surgical site.  He started winking and blinking and momma went crazy.  Back to Dr R, back into the cone, back on more drops, and when inflammation persisted, JD got a shot in the eye.

Now, you must take the time to formulate the visual here... a Bichon... needing a good grooming [no grooming until the eye dc says so... nice play JD!] with two "poodled" front paws... limping. This is what the word PATH-. ETHIC could only be describing,

But the drama does not end here. You see, sometimes, an infection shows up in the eye even when it starts elsewhere. DA DA DA DUMMMMMMMM. CRASH!  This limping must be looked at.

Bigger DA DA DA DUMMMMMMMM. CRASH! IT IS NOT THE OLD KNEE!!!!  Panic sets it. It is the hip. Was JD kicked? Did he fall down the stairs? Did someone play football with the old boy?.... Suppressed chuckle.  Momma gets really mad if she catches me laughing at these questions. Have you met JD?  He is like .... well his nick name is King of all puppies everywhere all the time. Nobody would dare do anything to his majesty, but kiss his royal tuchus.

Just the same... X-rays had to be taken. Momma's OCD quest for understanding took her in some very dark corners of the interweb. Brrrrr. She talked to Dr R who discussed the 3 possible...scenarios.

1. It is a bruised hip- BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME. No surgical intervention, anti inflammatory meds and time.

2. A dislocation...3. or a broken hip. The correction comes with surgery and only with surgery... and when surgery fails... removal of the leg is the ultimate option. {THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL AN OPTION?????? WHAT THE WOOF?!}

Yes I heard it.  The loud thud and crash was momma's heart dropping to the ground and her soul crashing into a wall. Given JD's dramas of late, you know that all she heard was that " ultimate option."

Let me translate that into applied behavior. Momma is OCD. When in crisis and when unable to do anything else... apparently cleaning is imperative. Yes world, our toilets have been steam cleaned.

JD got kissed every 3 minutes. Got carried everywhere like he was made of crystal....and,,,the royal pain in the tuchus got insane meals...hand fed... while momma emotionally beat herself for not realizing that it was his hip not his knee. And daddy did not help when he asked her if she was absent the day they lectured on differentiating knee from hip injuries in veterinary school. Sarcasm... momma is a lawyer, not a vet...

Of course, the who fan damily worried about that boy.  Well after a rough night [for me- because that momma tossed in bed like she was romaine in a bowl or dressing] off JD went for X-rays.

He is fine. He has a bruised hip. Yeaaaa! No really, Yeaaaa.  I got my momma back. And the daddy too! And the royal pain in the tuchus is once again mine to torture.

But, if caca like this is going to keep happening, I demand better terms in my contract. I am a Bichon, I am meant to love and comfort. And I am good at that job.  But I will be damned if I spend any more time, trying to keep momma from disintegrating emotionally.  It is like holding jello between chopstiks.... NUFF said.,


1 comment:

bichonpawz said...

We sure are glad that JD is now back to normal and that you have your mama and daddy back! Onward and upward! LOVE that writing style!