You would NOT believe what I went through!

I was minding my own business. I had found a wonderful scented patch of muck in the back yard and had a grand roll in it. One of the rites of spring!

Well. I walk back into the house and my two leggeds go nuts.  No, literally, they go nuts.

Oy the drama! Nose pinching, finger pointing [yea, like polite counts around here!] I was immediately grabbed 

taken to the sink, and the ritual torture you call "washing" was started. See me endure? Don't say it. Yes I know...path....ethic...

And to prove that there are limits to what she can do... she whose name I shall not utter  [it is called retaliation], took out the blow dryer and turned me into Rosanne Roseannadanna.Thank DOG I am getting real grooming tomorrow. Wait... tomorrow? You mean I will have to suffer through this caca AGAIN? Where is the Canine Rights Commission when you need them? Sucking up chewies somewhere being ineffective...Burocats!

JD and the Wendy had to inspect me, they were so worried about me. They took inventory. Everything is where it's supposed to be.

Except for that stupid bow.

She was proud of herself. Look at that stupid bow.

the nightmare is over. I look horrible. I will retaliate... I just have to do it when it actually counts. I will get even.

 'vie the VICTIM