Thursday, March 15, 2012

Theater at home.

This play is called The Morph.
It is my first play and this is my first draft, see what you think.

Scene one, Act one.

Momma at the bottom of the steps has our harnesses in hand. She shakes that hand a couple of times. The jingle jangle of the harnesses is enough to convey the message.
Momma stands aside  She knows what is about to happen, and she does not not want to be in the way.

The Wendy flies out of the bed, down the stairs and starts emoting. She howls, she yelps, talks and barks  because she is so excited that we are going for a walk that she can't contain herself. She wags her booty, not just her tail.

JD simply sits and wait. His delusion of being the King of all Puppies, Everywhere....[a delusion momma has cultivated and is now shared by the other two leggeds in this family] does not permit him to move. Things and people come to him, not the other way around. So he takes his position on the one of the beds. yes, the pink bed. He is either extremely secure in his masculinity or... we love him no matter.

And moi. Where am I?  I am no fool, I am by the door to the garage. Nobody is leaving without me.

We watch momma do the rounds. Each one of us gets the harness on, JD of course is last as he is not about to move.

Momma is in control. She is systematic. She is goal oriented.

Scene one, Act Two.

Momma has to outfit herself for the walk.

We watch as she talks herself through it. Tissues, poop bags [I know, right? she is very proud of the fact that she brings our poop home.  Two leggeds are obsessed with our poopies.] Cell phone. Garage door opener,  more tissues and wipes, whistle. [I have no idea why, but once she did use it to scare away this mean vicious goose] and then of course, momma has to check herself in the mirror. Please note that whatever look she is going for- and we are assuming there is some kind of style idea here- will promptly be destroyed by the wind as soon as she steps foot outside. But she follows her ritual anyway because she is control!

Scene two, Act one.

We are finally outside. and this is a silent scene. You see momma.  A small two legged who appears to be holding three leashes.


Is she holding the leashes or is she more like a human marionette and the leashes are strings controlling her movements? The latter appears to be true. It looks like a clumsy  ballet.   Arabesques , allonges followed by balancoire... Cabriole devant, derrière and à la seconde  croisé, effacé, écarté... you get the idea. The movements are not graceful or fluid. The movements are spastic, choppy.  But ultimately,  some sort of rhythm develops and and off we go on our walk.

Momma is now the marionette and we are pulling all the strings.

Scene Two, Act two.

We, four leggeds have two goals in this walk. Sniffing everything and marking everything. That is why we go for walks. The conquest of the new territory and staking our claim.

Momma the marionette seems to have one goal. Survival.  To each its own.

This scene is about the struggle between competing interests. A metaphor for life.

The scene should be viewed in silhouette. The audience just needs to watch the totality of the movement and not be distracted by the minutia.  Keep in mind the spastic ballet - that is the visual.

Scene three, Act one.

This scene takes place in the garage. By the garage sink. Fully lit, details are important here.

We are done with our walk and we are all out of breath and tired. But the human marionette is not content to just be.

Momma the marionette is not eager to free herself from her "strings" ie our leashes. Her delusion of control is fully realized in this scene, She once again appears to be systematic, deliberate. There appears to be a method to her madness. Cleanest dog gets freed first. I am usually the first one to get freed. Let's face it.  I am smart.  I never allow my paws to touch toilets [grass=toilet to me] I go for sniffs and marks not to get dirty or anything like that!  I get my paws wiped and I get a general wipe down so that pollen etc is off of me. I then sit myself down and watch...

Momma repeats the wipe down ritual with The Wendy.  And soon The Wendy is freed and I go to her and lick her face.

Now, momma focuses on JD. Words. Many many words come out of momma's mouth.
JD, The "king of of all puppies everywhere" is filthy. He gets lifted and placed inside the sink  where his muddy paws, belly and muzzle with be sprayed and washed as momma  performs her soliloquy. No, it's not a monologue. It is definitely a soliloquy. And it generally goes something like this:

"Is this the price I pay for my sanity?
A white dog who lacks any respect for me?
How is it that he manages to get this dirty while I am controlling his leash and controlling where he goes? [hahahahaha, right, that's a nice delusion right there]
Why does he do this each and every time? [uhhh, because he can!]
Why do you feel the need to do this to me? [to her! talk about delusional egocentric!]
Is this how you repay me for my generosity of spirit? I take you for a walk and you get all filthy? And then more words...
More words... I stopped listening, it started to become a diatribe... the audience should now just hear rumblings and mumblings which really don't make sense, but the words should be loud enough to demand their attention.

Then silence should start as  JD is toweled off and now the audience should focus on the 3 of us, looking pristine and ready to go inside the house, and on momma.

Our marionette... momma. A small disheveled woman, soaking wet from the neck to the knees, her hair and makeup now looking like a Tim Burton ensemble, [a metaphor for her complete loss of control] exhausted, and now barefoot carrying her shoes and wet, dirty towels  inside the house as she follows us in.

As the light fades we see JD standing by the patio door wanting to go outside and we hear momma's voice " Not a snowball's chance in hell, no way.  You are on empty and you are NOT going outside now.  I need to go take a shower and clean myself up... NO WAY JD!"

And it is then that the audience realizes that the marionette now thinks she is free.

End Scene.

Now I need to step away from this draft and take my morning nap.


bichonpawz said...

We sure can relate to this. LadyBug and JD would make perfect partners. They both like to play in the dirt. What a wonderful play!

Marshmallow said...

'Vie, I'm like you, I like to stay clean. Ricotta likes to do the "kick", so sometimes he kicks dirt and stuff on me. And sometimes he kicks it onto mama when she's trying to pick up after him. Now that's hilarious! Will we be seeing your play on Broadway? I think it would be a hit!