I am going to EAT you!

Just kidding!!! Relax...

'vie

WORDS are WEIRD

Guess I never really thought about it before.

Language.

It's kind of silly, no?

We went out on Sunday (like we always do) and the weather was perfect: warm, sunny, and breezy. And there were so many 2leggeds around to pet us!!! JD tried to steal all the attention (like he always does), but I used my new posing techniques to get some too (I’m really really cute).

But something weird happened to many of the 2leggeds who petted me; their words turned to mush.

Yes. Mush. For example, “Ohwhaddyprettywiddlepuppy!” and “Iwannaeatyouup!” I don’t know what these things mean, but I’m pretty sure the second one involves eating me. I’m so not into that.

It’s weird I don’t understand this funny language. I hear so many languages at home. Being a 4legged (and therefore ridiculously smart), I usually understand all languages.

I know "Zucchero filato" means momma loves me even though "spun sugar" in Italian might have some other meaning totally unrelated to me and therefore... meaningless. "Batuffolo" means “JD, momma wants you.” And we all know that. "Shukuor" is the Wendy. Mhh, Eritrean? I think it means “sugar”. Given momma's propensity to mix up French, Italian, English, Eritrean, and whatever else is playing in her head... Good thing we aren’t word dependant!

We met these nice ladies on Sunday. Their words got mushy and I could tell momma was totally lost. It seemed pretty clear to me that they were talking about how crazy cute I am. Momma was speechless which was awesome (she talks A LOT). Still, there is something I can’t figure out. I know 2leggeds don’t have the language skills that 4leggeds have, but Momma is used to mushy words. Why was she so confused? (Note from momma: They were speaking Portuguese! I don't speak Portuguese!!!)

Anyway, try the 4legged approach. Don't get hung up on words! Look at the expression, listen to the tone... the rhythm hear it with your heart. :)

Polyglot
'vie

I am HUNGRY is my din din ready yet????

Heyyyyy I am hungry!!!!


Is that my lamb I am smelling?

No, momma, put away that camera.

I am NOT posing.
I will NOT cooperate.
I am HUNGRY.





Fine, I will ignore you and you will live with fuzzy pics.

I am focusing on daddy. He is THE man. He is making my dinner. He gets it. I am hungryyyyy.




Mhh grilled lamb! YES! Dinner is almost ready.
I am not going anywhere, come on, I am waiting...
Oh yuh, finally! Put that bowl down... yuhhhhh.


Daddy this is delicious.
Even the carrots are good!







Thanks dad. Now I am ready to go for a ride!















No wonder I am daddy's girl
'vie

IMAGINE that!

I got to watch the news last night with my momma. Normally after the first few sentences, I just tune out and truly, really, honestly I am only there for the belly rubs. A distracted momma will give endless great belly rubs. But. Last night something caught me by surprise. Have you heard of this??? This human made millions selling PET ROCKS. A PET ROCK. No I swear I heard it correctly. PET ROCK. Yea, really... PET ROCK. Can you believe that? 2leggeds!

Just to be sure, I had to sit up and listen. To my best understanding [and I am no dummy], 2leggeds bought rocks, and gave the rocks, love, attention, shelter, and...names. If you are still reading this, yes I am talking about hard, inanimate objects. While I understand a geologist might find rocks incredibly fascinating... For the rest of the 2leggeds I would love to know what a rock can do for you to earn your love, devotion... etc...
[I can't believe I am really asking that question!]Why would anyone buy a rock?
I must see hundreds of them every day on my walks... they are just there... for free.

The utter absurdity of the whole concept really caught me by surprise. There are shelters filled with the sweetest loving companion animals literally dying to be adopted... but some 2 leggeds bought PET ROCKS???

Trust me on this. No rock is a pet. If you think a rock can be a pet, you need a reality check.

I am just besides myself.

Sign me... stunned
'vie

From the NEW YORKER

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/dog-blog/756922293

SHE insisted!

First of all let me preface this post. This post was NOT my idea. Momma was soooo unhappy about my last post she asked to be given a chance to respond. On behalf of 2leggeds, everywhere... supposedly. So, I am letting her. It is easier than putting up with her pouting. Here goes it:

"Silvie, your last post was not my favorite. Just for the record the word is "idiosyncrasy" No T .. no idiot... no crazy. While I understand that from your point of view, we 2leggeds are somewhat odd in our behavior, let me assure you that everything we do has meaning. Even what appears odd. For example, makeup is not dirt. It is intended to make us look and feel better about ourselves. It replaces moisture that is lost. Do you want me to look old and weathered?
The same way I take time to groom you and fluff you, I take time to make myself presentable. I don't need to defend that. In your Tootsie post, you told us humans to "step it up"... I am doing just that!
Gas stations. Pay attention. We stop there because without gasoline [gas =gasoline], the car does not function. Without gasoline it does not move and we all know how much you love going on rides. Maybe next time you want to get out of the cozy warm car bed and help me pump gas or maybe pay for it???

Don't be so judgmental.
Games like Wii and monopoly are fun. Just like your tug of war games are fun. How about you being a little less egocentric and a little more tolerant? After all do I question why you have to blitz?

I think you get a lot of massages, and holding and belly rubbing. Do not begrudge my grooming time. I love you very much even though you are high maintenance.
Momma"

HUMAN Idiotsyncrasies

Idiotsyncrasies or as I define it... Crazy stupid habits.... from the root Idiot and cransies [old way of saying crazy- I think. ]

I mean, 2leggeds are governed by, limited by, inspired by, motivated by, condemned by...EVERYTHING by.... their idiotsyncrasies.

I am fascinated and tormented by the lot of idiotsyncrasies. If I were to reduce all factors relating to said idiotsyncrasies to a single factor, that factor being time and time alone... I say I am owed about 10 yrs of life wasted waiting for the fulfillment of one or more of said idiotsyncrasies. [Dog years of course! I am only 2 in human years!]

What am I talking about??? Hmmm? Female 2 leggeds. Morning ritual. Why do you dirty your face up after you spent time washing it??? Yea, call it make up, whatever, it is dirt. And after you spent an hour washing the hair, you comb it, you blow it dry [like it wouldn't dry on its own! Another one of those idiotsyncrasies... you waste time to "hurry things up"] Oh then! THEN! You "spray" the hair and make it DIRTY again.

The painting of the nails??? Why??? It stinks. No, really. It stinks up the room. And speaking of smells, everything you smear, spray, dip, dab etc... on you smells...

Layers of clothes. Ok, I am willing to allow you a layer. You need it as you are sadly hairless [I saw you shave the legs... so in part it is your fault..., but whatever] do you really need soooo many layers? Under, over... in the middle... idiotsyncrasies. If we can agree on one layer that would be...45 minutes a day- SAVED. 45 minutes you could dedicate to giving your 4 legged a full body massage... 45 minutes spent on a meaningful activity!

Ok what is the deal with belts? Both females and males wear those. Why?
Ok ok... this is a real stumper. Ties. Holds the head in place? It is more like a leash? But why does the momma not hold the end? Why is it short? Idiotsyncrasies. I think it is a virtual leash. Or maybe it is like a choke leash? Ick.

While still on human males. Shaving. Except my daddy who has a beard like mine. I think that is why he is handsome. What is the deal with the butchering of flesh every morning??? Idiotsyncrasies.

Hey what is the point of coffee without foam???

And what is the deal with gas stations? You leave us in the car, you turn off the engine, you get out in all kinds of weather, then you stand around outside the car for some time, swipe your bank card, stand some more, come back in the car and whine about GAS... really...
Take beano and your gas issues... are history! You really need to go to a "station"?? Idiotsyncrasies.

Can you explain any of following in any other way besides....idiotsyncrasies:
Scruncee and or hair clips on me or you... [stay away from me] utensils, napkins, this whole clean thing... football, the Wii, monopoly.... baby talk, licking envelopes... and that spastic thing you do you call the crazy puppy dance?

That's what I thought. Idiotsyncrasies I have had to develop soooo much patience....

'vie
[ Re: Pic....Ya ya ya... momma caught me getting ready to sample a pillow corner....]