Interview with a HUMAN

Many of you have asked about my 2legged staff, I mean uh, family. So I asked Dowi to sit down for an interview so you could get to know her better.

Hi Dowi!!!!!
Hey Silvie! How are you princess?

I'm good. I have tons of questions for you, can we get started?
Sure thing.

Why, even though you claim to understand that petting requires two hands, do you sometimes only use one to pet me?????
Wow, way to start off with a softball there! Sometimes, Silvie, I have to do other things with the other hand like pet Wendy or scratch my nose. I always do my best to use both hands.

Will you at least promise to try harder next time?
I promise.

Can I have a chewy?
Right now? You'll have to ask momma. I'm pretty far away right now. [We conducted this interview via chat.]

Speaking of far away, why do you live so far away?
Because my job is far away. You are always welcome to come visit.

Hm. I will. What is your favorite thing about me?
That's easy. I love how you think everything is exciting and fun. And I love the crazy puppy dance.

I like that about me too!!!! I also like my ears. I can move them. See?
Well, I can't actually see right now... but they are very cute too.

So, what's this thing you humans ave about not always sharing your food? I mean it really comes off as piggish... selfish...
No, Silvie, you really should not think that! It is just that sometimes, we humans eat food that is not good for you 4 leggeds. It is nothing personal, our needs are different. Just like your need for a good belly rub does not always translate as appropriate or welcomed behavior in humans.

Really? PITY you don't know what you are missing! Speaking of things that are "missed"...Do you get this "dance thing the momma does when she is happy?
No. I am not sure anyone gets it. It is funny though, but don't let her catch you laughing, you know she is "sensitive".


Sensitive... ahh that is what we are calling it! This is what I am "sensitive" about... Dowi have you been to Adam's apartment? JD has and the Wendy has... I have NEVER been invited. So... I am curious, what's the deal?
You should not feel left out, I am sure circumstances are to blame, nothing personal. I have it on good authority that Adam is completely smitten by you.

Can I ask a question? What human breed is Adam? I figure you must have different breeds because he has a hairy face, but no hair on his head?
No, no no Silvie. Humans do not have breeds. Adam shaves his head. It is a style choice. Like when we girls wear our hair up or down.

Humans do not have breeds? OMG your species is soooooo boooringggg!! Sorry. I did not meant it that way. And I have to ask... how do you manage life without a tail? It must be so difficult to actually have to use words to express yourself all the time... And then to have to rely on words that can be interpreted so many ways... Thank goodness I have a tail! I love my tail. Don't you?
Silvie, I do love your tail, and I can't miss what I never had. Words are OK. Humanity has been doing without tails for ever. Oops Silvie, that ring is my phone. It is work, so I have to go. I love you , be good. stay in touch OK?

Work... ick. Sorry you have to go. Love you too Dowi.
This is Silvieon4 signing out.
'vie.

It is in the eyes

"An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language."

~ Martin Buber


[YOU- Give me a chewie NOW. Do it!]


translated by 'vie

Ponderings and WONDERINGS

2Leggeds! They are a funny lot. Recent events have given me some new insights.
I will share these with you my 4 legged friends because maybe, just maybe, you will benefit from my observations. Feel free to add your own.

Insight no. 1. ALL 2 leggeds are CONTROL delusional.
They "think" they can and should control everything. My momma yells at weeds. You read it correctly. My momma thinks she should control what grows outside. Apparently weeds are not to her liking. She calls them "invaders". Reality check... the real invader might be the French lavender plant which is now displacing some native "weed". Have you been out in the yard? I have, and there is very little you can control out there!

Squirrel, this comment does not apply to you. Rabbit, you are my future lunch. I am just letting you be until I am ready to eat you.

My daddy talks to the rain. He uses the word "inopportune". He says the rain is inopportune when he is driving. Is there opportune rain or does that only happen for farmers? I believe that if my daddy could he would turn off the rain. Control delusional...

My Dowi is also control delusional. She thinks that if she talks to the Wii she can win more bowling games...

Adam thinks he can eat my nose. HA! As if. The boy can eat a lot of things, but my nose is NOT on the menu. It is not negotiable.

What gets me is the amount of effort that is spent by 4 leggeds trying to control things clearly out of their control. Lucky for me I have 4 legs. Yes, I too battle the control demons, but to a much lesser extent. Occasionally I like to control Wendy and JD, For sure I would love to control access to the chewies. But, because control is such a hard nut to crack, I have used my brain and found lots of ways around my control needs. For example, a tilt of the head at the right time will get me a chewie. A good whine will get Wendy to do whatever I want. I play bow will get JD involved in a game of sniff and chase.

As far as the weeds... let them grown and hire a goat I say... And one more bit of advice... surrender control and live peacefully!!!

just my dogservations
'vie

PS Adam... my nose would be DELICIOUS!

So where shall I go on vacation?

Doggy Airline now open for business

Hey momma, just letting you know I now have options. And I might go on "vacation" myself. Oh wait I might go to a "conference". Shall I call Adam and make baby sitting arrangements for you???

Better yet, I will just let you know when my plans are in place and I am on my way out the door...

Know what they say? What is good for the goose is great for the gander...

Soon to be globe trotting 'vie...

Alla mia famiglia in Italia, vengo tra poco!!!!
{Yuh I speak Italian, you don't think that listening for hours to mommma was lost on me!}

Notes for my novel...

And there was the witch [momma] stirring her cauldron [the pool] with a long long stick [pool vacuum] whispering incantations [counting the hours for flock to settle]...

Her large floppy hat with a big pink flower hid most of her face. But you knew she wore her seriously mad look. She had prepared for this moment. She had bathed, gotten rid of all traces of perfume. She had talked about her need not to be a mosquito buffet. She had dressed the part. Hat, long pants, long sleeves, sunblock and the final touch... human grade Revolution- I am told- Stuff called Bull Frog a bug repellent. Stinky stuff to me. [Poor humans, no fur to put the drops in.. they have to spray it all over their naked skin!!!! ICKKKK]

And there in her battle mode, she stood, stirring the green cauldron of goo and muttering about the lazy gardner who let leaves into the pool and for the next hour, she walked around the pool staring into the muck and directing her long stick. Up, down, sideways, up, down, sideways...

We watched. Quietly from the shade of the deck. She would stop occasionally to wipe her face. It was wet. Her face was dripping wet... The cauldron was still green. Not as dark green, but green just the same.

Suddenly, for reasons known only to her, she stopped. [Water level too low to go on] She pulled the stick out. Went to the back and did something that made the cauldron belch. Then she sprinkled mysterious blue crystals that smelled faintly of laundry day and then she took her hat off, and went inside. We followed. [I love air conditioning]. Momma washed again and changed, again and looked out to the cauldron and said "Later gator, I am not done with you yet."..... Ohhhhh more stirrings to come?

And then they say "worked like a dog"??? Ha??? We only watched. She worked like a human!!!

Resting up for chapter 2.
'vie

6:00 am. Practically the middle of the night!

Why would you even own such a miserable thing like an alarm clock?
This has to be the height of cruelty! If I were fully awake, I swear I would chew up the damn thing into a permanent silence. In fact I am making a mental note. Union manifesto... NO AUDIBLE alarm clocks. Look, I am sticking my tongue out at you and your torture device.

Grrrr. I need my beauty sleep.... KILL THAT NOISE!

Humans. Can't live with them, can't live without 'em....

'vie
back to sleep....

Management dog???

Pffft. So tired. Busy busy weekend. Contemplating an offer momma made me. She offered to put me in charge of the back yard, the rabbits ad squirrels and of the JD and Wendy when they are outside. Strange offer, don't you think? I mean I was flattered at first, but then I started thinking. Why the offer? Why now? Hm. Could it be that momma is pulling a fast one? Once in "charge" I would be considered "management" and once management I would no longer be able to participate, organize, or in any way take any active role...in union activities... I could not UNIONIZE. OMG! How positively manipulative of the momma!

I will have to consult with my legal team. {Dowi whe you have time- daddy, at your convenience} but I am sure I will be turning down this "offer".

Sometimes... sometimes... Just when you think you know someone...


not fooled
'vie