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Friday, March 25, 2016

sorry daddy





I know it's like they don't care its your b day... or that Easter or Passover or  Mother's day... are coming...but THIS was NOT my idea!

Momma keeps saying...This too shall pass... but honestly I am not sure we will survive it.

Daddy... we will survive? Right? Momma looks like a lost soul. She walks around in circles holding her Dyson vacuuming  who knows what... It is like trying to mop the ocean with a sponge.

They took the granite... they took the sinks... and now it looks like we are getting some twisted Hildi Santo Tomas shower curtain project all over the house!

OY! they are taking the cabinets!!!!

And momma gets mad at my for doing a roll over on the floor. Not one peep out of her about the stuff that is going on... not one! Seriouly....

Sniff, and we are getting groomed today...

Daddy, happy birthday? I guess?

'vie



Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE Device

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Life in the BIG city


Ahh the twinkles of city life, my cousin Max-aBillion is just chillaxing.

Hey dude, we are headed your way soon.

Save  me some twinkles. It's crazy times here. We have an empty house just about!


'vie

Sunday, March 20, 2016

did YOU know?

that if the furniture and rugs are NOT here


You can rock and roll all over the floor?

                                        What I don't get is why she is yelling at me to stop.

Clearly my making lemonade out of a lemon situation is not to HER liking.
[My momma is weird]

       One more, for the road... I have been doing this all over the empty house.

It is making her crazy[er]


'vie



Saturday, March 19, 2016

DEAR Cosmo


Well played., well played, but given the ongoing disaster in this house, cute is NOT going to cut it. Momma  needs anesthetics, soooo bottle yourself into some serious spirits, Adam can hook you up with that, and then MAYBE that woman will need you more than she needs me.
Mocktails.... pleeeeeease

I am just saying.... 



Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE Device

Friday, March 18, 2016

RECALL: FROMM canned dog food

March 18, 2016 — 
Fromm Family Foods of Mequon, Wisconsin, has announced the voluntary recall of the following canned dog foods because they may contain elevated levels of vitamin D:
Fromm Gold Chicken Pate Dog Food       
12 ounce cans
Can case code: #11893
Individual can UPC: 72705 11892

Fromm Gold Chicken & Duck
Can case code: #11895
Individual can UPC: 72705 11894

Fromm Gold Salmon & Chicken Pate
Can case code: #11891
Individual UPC: 72705 11890
The affected products were shipped to distributors between December 2015 and February 2016.

What triggered the recall?

In house analysis by  Fromm revealed that the affected canned dog foods exceed the recommended levels of vitamin D.
The manufacturer maintains that the voluntary recall is " being implemented in an abundance of caution as symptoms should only be noted in situations where dogs have eaten the affected products as their only meal for an extended period of time and leading to depression of appetite."
To date there have been no reports of any health problems, but Fromm is recommending the affected products not be fed.
the FDA has been notified and we welcome you sharing this information. 

What do you do if you have these products?

Return them to the authorized retailer for a full refund.

You you have questions  you may call Fromm Customer Service at 800-325-6331. Extended hours have been allocated to facilitate consumer inquiries during the recall.
If you wish to pursue the matte with the FDA you may do any of the following:
U.S. citizens can report complaints about FDA-regulated pet food products by calling the consumer complaint coordinator in your area.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

f/f LIFE

Hoomans.  They waste so much money and time on stupid inventions...  Egg separators???  Chia pets?   Pet rocks? All the other stuff they market in the wee hours of the morning because the caca could not withstand scrutiny of an awake mind in broad daylight... all JUNK.

I have often discussed with you the need for certain inventions. One of those has been the .yum file app that would instantly allow transfer of food.  A modern replicator if you will [yea I am a StarTrek fan, so what of it?]  Is anyone working on that? Probably not, because????






Well the other major invention that needs to be actualized right this second is the f/f life button.
That would be the FAST FORWARD life button. Of course it would be marketed with the PAUSE and the REPLAY options.  But for now focus on f/f Life. You have no idea what I am woofing about?

Think about it. Could you use a f/f life button?  I could right now.  I would speed past the packing and ensuing destruction right into the rebuild or even the finished state of my house. Just think of all the grief and aggravation it would spare my momma and daddy.  And they think I am just a fluffy cutie. I am an idea dog. My imagination is not limited by your implied conventional limitation.  I accept nothing at face value. Think about the application of a f/f life button. You could speed through surgeries, break ups, sad points of your life, etc etc and actually maximize what is good about life itself.

But no. Hoomans stay focused on making self tanner that turns people orange. [SOURcasm.] That's really useful.  Ask Trump.

Meanwhile, I am trying to keep my hoomans from total meltdown. Hopeless task.


It's like trying to hold jello between your fingers...

'vie


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

No, for real, I need to be held right now!



Oh heck. Oh dear, Oh my... I am going to have a complete collapse.

What the woof?  My world is once again upside down!   Boxes, packing going on, strangers in my house. Truly hoomans, enough already!  We had just finished the 8 month hell week that you called a remodel that was supposed to take 7 weeks. What is this????

HOLD ME.

Ahh, yes I do remember. The dishwasher had that "accident". Mh. If any of us had "accidented"  like that thing did, momma would have belly banded or diapered us for life! Now it all makes sense.

Momma's "mood", daddy's eyebrows. [They wrinkle together like one long squiggle]...  floors are damaged, there is stuff growing under them. Everything has to come out. They mean everything. No really.... EVERYTHING.


NO REALLY, HOLD ME.

They are packing everything, they are moving everything out. You can feel momma's apprehension heavy, like a wet blanket on your shoulders.

They promise 3 months.  In dog years.... almost 2 yrs!!!!!!! You know what really shocked me?  The pantry. IT IS EMPTY. I have never seen it empty.  It feels like my best friend has died.


SERIOUSLY HOLD ME...

You promise momma, everything will be ok?  What do you mean you hope so?
Hope?  No no no. I need more than that, I need for sures.

The big fridge is going???? Cosmo, can I borrow Splish?


Where are you going with my couch?????


Heyyyy hoomannnnn....

'vie




Monday, March 14, 2016

Dearest Katie.


First read this:

http://barkpost.com/humor/open-letter-dog-who-ignores-me/



Dearest Katie,

Girl! Where do I start?  How about me being your reality touchstone.  10 reality checks...

1. Ziggy is NOT the only dog in the world.

2. How about you getting some self respect and working on a different strategy. Make him want YOU.

3. You are way tooo available. Too needy, too ... too. BACK OFF!
IGNORE HIM!

4. Yes, Ziggy is handsome, but he is not the only handsome dog. Have you met my JD, or my Cosmo? I mean ... woooof baby!  Booties that should be immortalized in stone. Tails that rival the best plumage. Soft, white, fluffy cute, snuggly and loving.

5. And let's face it, I am just going to be blunt and say it... you are an emotional mismatch for Ziggy.

6. Katie, you have the soul of a Bichon owner. Your need level equals the Bichon human focus fulfillment need. Simply put... You are barking up the wrong breed. He sees you as a bucket of need.
Any Bichon would see you as an ideal human! Ziggy is not enough dog to comprehend a five hour snuggle.

7. For all intent and purposes... you are in an abusive relationship. Neglect is a form of abuse.
Walk away.... just walk away and cut your losses.

8. Have you considered stuffing your pockets with mortadella?  Hey, I am just trying to shift the power here... to achieve #2..... make him want you.

9. The Wendy is right. She said..."Katie has no sense of self and no relationship can be defined until she knows who she is" Woaaaa that girl is deep. Come over here, and the four of us resident Bichons will help you define who you are.

10. Maybe you should make sure Ziggy sees you involved with another dog. I am just saying... Take back the power!


'vie

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Voluntary Recall- PURINA. BENEFUL.

From PURINA's website: http://newscenter.purina.com/10ozwetdogfoodtubrecall

This includes select wet dog food 10-oz. tubs under the Beneful Prepared Meals, Beneful Chopped Blends and Pro Plan Savory Meals brands.

Purina Wet Dog Food 10-oz. Tub Voluntary Recall

Click on image to enlarge
We’re pet owners and pet lovers, too. For that reason, when we discovered through our own internal quality tests that some of our 10-oz. wet dog food tubs may not contain the recommended level of added vitamins and minerals, we took action and voluntarily recalled the product at retail.
This includes select wet dog food 10-oz. tubs under the Beneful Prepared Meals, Beneful Chopped Blends and Pro Plan Savory Meals brands. See a full list of included products by “Best Before” date and production code ranges here.
Although most of the recalled product contains all of the vitamins and minerals your dog needs, we recommend that you discard any of the affected product you may have, and we’ll issue you a refund.
We’re here to ensure you have the best possible consumer experience, so call us at 1-800-877-7919 with any questions you may have or to request a refund. We know your pet is important to you, and they’re important to us, too.
Canadian consumers should visit purina.ca/voluntaryrecall for information about the Canadian products included in the recall. 

Questions and Answers
1. What products are included in this voluntary recall?
The voluntary recall only includes the following brands with both a “Best Before” date range of June 2017 to August 2017 and production code range starting with the first four digits of 5363 to 6054. See a full list of products here.
  1. Beneful Prepared Meals Wet Dog Food 10-oz. Tubs (all varieties)
  2. Beneful Chopped Blends Wet Dog Food 10-oz. Tubs (all varieties)
  3. Pro Plan Savory Meals Wet Dog Food 10-oz. Tubs (limited to five varieties).
No other Purina products or sizes are included.
2. Why did you recall this product?
We discovered through our own internal quality tests that some 10-oz. wet dog food tubs may not contain the recommended level of added vitamins and minerals, so we took action and issued a voluntary recall of the product at retail.
3. How do I know if my product is included in this voluntary recall?
Dog owners should check both the "Best Before" date and production code on the bottom of each 10-oz. tub and contact Purina at 1-800-877-7919 for a refund if they have an affected tub or may have purchased the affected product(s) (see list here).
4. What should I do if I have the recalled product? 
If you have any of the affected product on-hand, please discontinue feeding the food to your dog and discard it. If you have a 10-oz tub that is not listed as part of the recall, you can and should continue feeding it to your dog. We’ll be happy to give you a refund.
5. What if I fed the recalled product to my dog? 
We’re conducting this voluntary recall as a precaution for those dogs who may have eaten the affected product as their only meal for more than several weeks. Anytime you have questions about your pet’s health, contact your veterinarian. 
6. Are any other Purina products are affected? 
No other Purina products or sizes are affected.
7. Where were the recalled products produced?
The affected items were produced in only one Purina facility on one production line in St. Joseph, Missouri, and were sold in the U.S., Canada and Puerto Rico.
8. When can I buy these products again?
We’re working to get these products back on store shelves as soon as we possibly can.

Posted: March 9, 2016

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Saturday, March 5, 2016

DC Cooper allegedly caught shredding a box---



In his defense, he was trying to fulfill the role of a shredding machine. Uncle Phil, he was doing you a favor.


I think you should be paying him Uncle Phil... for his work. And one more observation. His scratching posts are made of cardboard, so... why would he know this cardboard box is not for him?
I am just saying. 

'vie

Friday, March 4, 2016

Hoomans: watching them is so entertaining!


You have had THAT experience, right?

You know, when your hooman does a "hooman" thing that is so bizarre that it makes no real sense?

We are watching the gathering of the leaves. Stop laughing.  They take it seriously. I know, right?

But this is a whole "theng" !  They dress for it, [long sleeves, blah blah, tucked in pants, waterproof booths... bug repellent hanging things... apparently this is the protocol...] it is a whole production number. And then they rake.

Mind you when the gardeners come they bring in huge sucker uppers that suck the leaves up. This is the -in between- leaf gathering.

My hoomans are so proud of themselves when they make mounds of dead leaves. It almost makes it painful to watch when a gust of wind scatters the mound in a thousand directions. You have got to give them credit. They don't give up. Braving the wind, the yuck factor and allergies they persist.
Rake, gather, bag, rake gather bag...

Momma measures her "success" by the number of bags she fills. Those are proudly lined up by the curb on the side of our house. I suppose it is some badge of honor.

An hour or so into this routine, the woman seems to be satisfied enough to go back inside. Between us, we all know that her efforts are fleeting at best. Hahahahaha ... like leaves in the wind. I crack me up.

By the time we get back inside, and momma washes away her efforts, or as she calls it - she de contaminates, the wind has erased her clear paths and there are more leaves on the ground.

I suppose,  we will have another show tomorrow.


'vie
PS, March 4TH!  NOT JUST A DATE, A COMMAND!

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Thoughtless Thursday: What is "fluffytude"?

Managing attitude while standing on grass... [ewwww toilet ewww]


'vie

 thank you HOSTS:   Ruckus the Eskie and co-hosts Love is being owned by a Husky and M.K Clinton -





Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Wesley and his braces


His name is Wesley.

He needed to correct some dental issues which prevented him from being able to close his mouth.

You can read all about it here.

Momma. NO. "Gansta cute" has NOTHING to do with it. NO. Momma, I will not get braces!

I am not having this conversation, You are ridiculous.

We need a vet- orthodontist in our area.  There are too many teeth pullers and shame on them, you know who you are...




'vie