Saturday, August 30, 2008
Things have been quiet at my house. The last couple of days we 4leggeds have all taken turns keeping an eye on the momma who has not been feeling too great. The daddy has been home taking care of us, and boy it has been like summer school. He is like a substitute teacher. You know you can get away with a lot more, you just don't know for sure how much more. So... you "pays your money and you takes your chances." In the end, we managed to get a few more treats, a few more walks, and a few more rides. (I think we got more rides because it was a way to give momma some quiet time.) The best part about the whole week was the fact that momma was laying down a lot so we all got to snuggle with her a lot more. Most times 2leggeds are over scheduled and way too busy for naps. :) She had no choice. I loved it. Day naps are just more fun than night time.
Still keeping an eye on the Frisbee Cat. We have managed to get some observations down so that at the least we know what to expect when he starts buzzing. Here is the deal as I see it:
1] Frisbee Cat is selfish and grubby. He eats anything that he finds - even if it belongs to the Wendy (has he not seen her TEETH?!). It seems always hungry. BUT
2] Frisbee Cat is WAY stupid. He eats things that are way to big and then beeps and stops and needs help spitting them out. AHA... bigger chewies are SAFE from Frisbee Cat, he can't handle them. I think he has a very tiny mouth... or no teeth... pathetic!
3] He wakes up at about the same time every day, but then goes back to sleep and ignores everything... he just sits in his "thing" and blinks his light. (Someone remind me to ask momma for my own blinky light!) I did try to bite it (it was a little nip, OK?) and he just beeped once and didn't move. What a coward. I guess he only chases food, not 4leggeds.
4] I am not really sure what the deal is, but 2leggeds do respond when he beeps and they do remove things from him. They kind of turn him on his back?? Looks nasty. I did not want any part of it. Momma better not try to remove anything from me when she rubs my belly.
Ultimately, JD, Wendy, and I have reevaluated the worthiness of this enemy. He lacks panache. He lacks excitement and he is ... dare I say it... Predictable. Boring. And as Heidi Klum would say... predictable and boring is OUT.
But. strategically, using Frisbee Cat to antagonize squirrel and turning squirrel onto Frisbee Cat.. is BRILLIANT. Don't you think so? I must give credit to JD for the "note." And I must give Wendy props for the sound effects. Squirrel seems to have "bought it" hook, line, and sinker. Now, we just have to make sure that Frisbee Cat accidentally gets let out on the patio. That proximity would easily heighten squirrel's sense of danger.
Ahh the joys of plotting and planning.
Just call me Machiavelli
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I don't want to fight anymore. It's exhausting and I have a new enemy who is more evil than you can imagine. I think it's a cat, because I said, "Hey what are you?" and it did whatever it felt like doing and ignored me. It made a lot of noise and all it does all day is eat and sleep, so I'm pretty sure it's a cat. But it's flat. I think it's a frisbee cat.
Well, Mr. and Ms. Squirrel, if you think this is the worst of it, hold on to your chewys (or whatever you tree rats chew on if not chewys). This thing eats a lot more than you or me. It goes over every inch of the floor and eats up all the little pieces of food I was saving for later. I said, "HEY! I'M GONNA EAT THAT YOU FRISBEE CAT!" But it just kept purring and eating my food. It's only a matter of time before it learns to climb trees...
I didn't want to have to show you this, but if you're on the fence (figuratively, not literally like you macadamia moles like to do), it dropped this note:
If you can't tell, that's a very very well-drawn picture of you crossed out, and the instructions that it wants to kill and eat you. That's what the frisbee cat wrote, not me. You can tell I didn't write that because I can spell squirrel, and also I don't have a red marker anymore since the frisbee cat took it. So I definitely didn't write it, it was the frisbee cat.
olive branches don't taste anything like olives,
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I need a favor.
I need you to stop going to mall pet stores. I know it's tempting, but it makes the problem worse. Puppy mills are cruel and horrible.
Also, I'll give you a chewy if you vote for politicians that want to end the horror! One of my personal chewies. Awesome, right? (Disclaimer: I reserve the right to prechew said chewy) I'm going to put together a voting guide -- so watch for it!
This guy sounds smart. Listen to him!
We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat
the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to
impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize
it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will
not find peace. ~Albert Schweitzer, The Philosophy of Civilization
changin' the world,
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
We promise to return the favor whenever we can.
babies smell like happy,
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
SO, you are getting ready to go to a forever home? NEAT!!! Just make sure your 2leggeds know how special you are!
PS. Take my phone no along so we can arrange play dates.
LIVING WITH HUMANS HAS TAUGHT DOGS MORALS, SAY SCIENTISTS
OMG. Is this a joke? It's such a jump to delusions! Hey humans!! It's not always about you.
Okay, I can make some allowances for humans' egocentricity. BUT really???? The article states that dogs are becoming more intelligent. Ok... Some of us are. (I do try to read at least one educational book a week. And by "read" I mean "chew.") But I think what we're talking about here is called evolutionary maturation. (I just made that up, but it sounds scientific, right? That reading is paying off!) We were always intelligent. Maybe now some of you are more observant? Look, as a cosmopolitan canine. I know elevators, planes, cars, hotels, hot tubs, pools... The Wii (I'm an excellent bowler), puters, phones, etc. etc... I am exposed to things. I learn. The ice machine held my fascination for a full minute. Now I expect ice. As I see, I learn. Normal.
Now this is the part that I have trouble swallowing... "even learning morals from human contact." Puh-lease. Morality is the underpinning of canine social structure in a pack. What can humans teach us? Do I need to send you all back to my post titled Philosophy101 ? And these are "experts." I just cannot believe you 2leggeds! Of course if you live with us you can understand what we mean when we bark or grunt or whatever! WE understand what you say! And we have a harder time because you pepper your request with useless words that really add NOTHING... As momma would say OY VE!
Here is a suggestion. Scrap the "experts." Get a few Bichons and their humans in a room and observe. We have humanized many of our behaviors. (Comes from being circus dogs... Give them what they want and they feed you... duh) You want to marvel? Marvel at how we have trained our 2leggeds. JD grunts and commands water be brought to him in a moving vehicle. That is the power of 2legged training! One or two grunts and voila' water. :) I watched him and I am trying that same technique (but I'm going to ask for chewies and a tank.)
Also, JD perfected the art of the dismissive lick. When he is done drinking he gently dismisses the 2leggeds with a lick of the hand. (I call that the Thank you my good man move) I tell you, your "experts" could learn something from JD.
The voice gender experiments mentioned in the article.... laughable. Obviously they do not watch Project Runway. This week's episode would have really messed up their stats. HA HA HA
Girlie voice out of big bulky guy in my book would have resulted in one assumption only: something is going to be sparkly!!!!
Dr Horowitz, You can play with me and the fam. Just bring your own toys; I really don't like to share. I bet it will give you some insight. And thank you for the belly laugh. I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard (but I think it involved tickling or corned beef).
JD just gave you an eyebrow blink. That means nuts in dog lingo. Just so you know.
Not deluded, fully rational
You would not believe how many 4leggeds come to Bark in the Park. Big ones, small ones, all sorts of ones.
Hope Jasper shows up. I liked him. He is a police dog. He is my kind of guy. Uniformed. Disciplined. Able to take and follow orders. Eye Candy. :) Hi Jazzy....
Sigh. I have to wait for Bark in the Park.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
JD "I don't know but I smell treats.
Wendy: "Are you sure?
JD: "What is that? Clothes? Oh no..." Me "She better not be thinking of buying that!"
JD to me "I am king of world" (I say to myself ...no more HBO for this guy!)
mellowing out today
Being a companion pet is a lot of work. Sometimes it feels as if you are in and out of shopping carts all day long. Lots of errands, some shopping and even an "educational" experience.or two.
What do they say?
C'est la vie!!!
Oops Je suis 'vie!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
This was JD as a puppy asleep during the hurricane Isabel. Momma has lots of pictures of him. He looks OK. He looks safe. Tell the grandma to sleep during the hurricane! She will be safe too.
Is the chicken jerky still in the bag?
Momma talks on the phone, watches boring weather channel, talks some more on the phone... I lick her hand while she is on the phone. I lick her leg, I whine. I whine some more...
Finally! Just like that, momma absent mindedly walks to the kitchen, unzips the bag and gives each of us a treat... Just like that. Phone between her neck and ear, walking around doing things, talking to the grandma, momma remembered to gives us a treat. She loves us.
FAY GO AWAY! Leave the grandma alone. Or else. GRRRRRR
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sooo, after my vengeful pillow retaliatory tirade, I was kind of tired. (She whose name still upsets me [momma] kept picking up the stupid pillows) Anyway, once I tired her out I realized how tired I am. Look... I accidentally made a pillow cave! A pillow fort! It is such a perfect place for a nap that I think I will take full advantage of this happenstance and take an afternoon snooze.
BTW... the "peach" itchy thing is no longer in sight. :) Mission accomplished.