Saturday, May 31, 2008

Seriously??????


Matching outfits. Really. Of all the humiliations one must suffer at the hands of the on2s.... matching outfits ranks up there.

Humans, listen up. OUTFITS, dresses, coats, bows, whatever you find cute, sweet, [nausea setting in now] on human children, DO NOT BELONG on any creature on 4 legs.

Find a hobby! Get a life! Spend the money on chewies, toys, Happy Hips, or give the money to rescue. [By the way have you ever smelled money??? Ick. I know humans love the stuff, but that is one paper I will not chew on. It smells like a thousand dirty hands...]

Back to the rant. Keep the stupid sundresses off of me. Besides, PINK is my color!

"Nakid" and happy
'vie

DRUMROLL please



I waited and waited and waited for your votes so I would know which toy would be mine to chew on. Really, I hoped and hoped that you would pick my favorite thing... and YOU DID!!!!! Obviously you are getting to know me. Mhh getting to know me, getting to know you... getting to hope you like me... that would make a great song!
Anyway, even the mama could not argue with the democratic process at work. Well... we did have to exclude all votes from FL and from Michigan as you voters did not abide by party rules...but in the end... the tissue box is your toy of choice! Yeaaaa!!!!!! Well America feast your eyes on my windfall: a two box deal. LOOOOOOVE THE CORNERS!
So what's in your house??? Ehmm any tissue boxes around? Any thing I can help you with? I mean, does that box of tissue really match your decor? I am just thinking of you! Just trying to help you move on... you know, holding on to old tissue boxes stops your growth into the next level of decorating. Like my friend Hope says:
"Nothing helps on2s redecorate like a Bichon who can speed up the process of wear and tear" {Tee hee}

Power to DA people
'vie

nap TIME

I'm exhausted.

Chewing tissue boxes makes me so sleepy!

Yawn
'vie

Friday, May 30, 2008

SJP who?

Soooo, the movie is finally out and droves of On2s are going to see SJP and her crew parade what passes as "fashion". Well, trust me I know fashion! I routinely have to remove the mama's horrid scruncii from her hair. The woman just does not get it. You know what I mean?


Now, I DO get it. Check out my new awsome FASHIONISTA statement. It is my new collar! It is a Skully design from Mrs Bones. Truly it brings out the inner punkette in me and... I rock it! I am lobbying for a pink velvet leash next. My peeps like it. It is a welcome departure from the Coach collar in this weather.



This Mrs. Bones... sounds delicious. What or who is she? 2 or 4 legs? I do want to meet her. The mama said I could go with her next time, so I am hoping that happens soon. Hey, think the movie will be out on Netflix soon?


You can get a fashionable collar, too, if you visit http://www.mrsbones.com/. But don't get the same one, because if we show up in the park together wearing the same collar, it will be so embarassing. Especially for you, since I will look better in it.

Rock the Casbah,

'vie

Thursday, May 29, 2008

keeping VIGIL


Nelson, love your blog. I wonder where you got the idea ;) I share your burden of keeping watch over the yard. It is amazing who and what the humans tolerate. My humans have the nerve to shhhsh me whenever I take my post along Wendy and JD. WE are the protectors of our boundaries! There are a zillion things to deal with. Birds, squirrels, rabbits, humans, those things on 2 wheels, the noisy things with 3 wheels and that big machine that eats the garbage! Oh oh do not let me forget the running humans! Ok, if they did nothing wrong, why are they running? I mean who runs unless something is wrong? And why does the mama get so frustrated when I respond to that running human by barking? Really... 2 legged ones lack LOGIC.
Keeping it real
'vie

NEW friend?

This is Lucky.

She is a "cat."

She was nice enough to sit down with me to help me understand these curious animals (her people called my people). I learned alot about "cats." For example, they are very vain and humans steal their "business."

Just a note before you read the interview -- She doesn't recognize our superiority. Don't be upset! It's not her fault. She is a "cat."


What are you reading?
The newest John Grisham book, "The Appeal"

What is it like to be a cat?
Awesome.

Do you have any cool toys?
My mom buys me SO many toys. She loves me.

Can I have them?
I don't share and no.

What is your owner like?
She is ALMOST as pretty as I.

Why do you "use it" in a box?
Duh, so I don't have to go outside.

Are you saving it for later?
No, but I don't know what my mom does with it when she takes it out of the box...

You realize dogs are cooler though, right?
Absolutely not.

How fun is cat nip?
I actually am indifferent to cat nip.

any final thoughts?
I am beautiful. Did I mention that?

Only like 30 times.

stop, drop, and roll!
'vie


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

very DANGEROUS


PUBLIC ENEMY #1

REWARD: 4 chewy things

Name: Stevie the Squirrel
Height: 6-8 inches
Weight: approx. 2 lbs
Eyes: Beady.
Race: furry.
Last seen: runnin' all over my yard

Please be advised that Stevie the Squirrel has dangerous arms and creepy little hands. He is known to scurry all around MY YARD. If you see Stevie, BARK LIKE HELL. Chase him. Chase him alot. But beware: the little craphead can run UP TREES. Unnatural.

protect and serve,
'vie





Monday, May 26, 2008

BUNNY frufru


Bunny Fru Fru Review:

Rating **** [4] stars out of 5

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Someone told Silvieon2 (aka the mama) to get me more toys! I got more toys! I got a new Bunny Fru Fru and it has a squeaker in its tail and long pretty chewable ears. Too bad it came with a dumb song about little Bunny Fru Fru and some forest, but away from the humans there is no weird song. The humans keep wanting to play with Bunny because it has a stretchy body, but I find the face and tail delicious to chew on. You know what... I like it a lot. I like better that the toss ring that makes the same noise as the Happy Hips bags. I also like it better than the rubber chewy thing that looks like a key. I am sleepy. I played hard today, I was in the pool, I walked with daddy, and really keeping the staff busy makes me tired. I think I will let one of the staff hold me while I nap.

Night night ya'll
'vie

PS what is lapin cassoulet? Mama says she will make it with Bunny Fru Fru if she finds it outside the toy box. Should I be scared or happy???? Oh well time to get my snuggles on.

so DEEP

Most of you probably don't know that I'm a poet. Well, I am! Don't let my ridiculously adorable exterior fool you; I'm super awesome at everything, not just being cute.

I wrote this haiku earlier this evening. I hope you like it.


Anticipation.
The chewy is in her hand
I hope she drops it.

Keep on truckin'
-'vie


P.S. Please send me your poetry. unless it sucks. then you can keep it.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

NO thanks

Oy vey, my family.

So, the whole fam is in town and that's usually a great thing. They all love me. They pet me. They feed me.

But this time....this time....

THEY MADE ME GO IN THE POOL!

And, as if that humiliation isn't bad enough, they put me in this orange getup. It has a handle on the back. A freakin' handle.

Yeah, they looooved it. I did not.

I'm so going to pee on something expensive.

whatevs,
'vie



Saturday, May 24, 2008

hi PEOPLE.

I am Silvie on four. I am THE Silvie. The other Silvie in my universe is known as Silvie on 2. While I am 100% Bichon, the other is not. So we are easy to tell apart. JD and Wendy are the other Bichons in my house. They were both here when I got here, and they really showed me the ropes. I'm the one who gets JD to play (he's kind of stuffy and aloof otherwise) and I'm the one that gets Wendy to stop being so scared. We do some serious blitzing. Yeah, I am pretty great at Bichon Blitzes. I can outspeed, out maneuver and outlast any other Bichon at blitzing, "cause let's face it I am OUTstanding!
So, I thought I should start this blog because some times I need to vent about my human staff. They make me crazy. After all, I figure other Bichons like me must have the same problems and maybe we can find solutions.

livin' the dream,
'vie

RESCUE me.

These are some of the wonderful people that helped me find my family. This picture was taken before I was born, but my family is in it!

You should give them money. You should give them all your money. And all your toys. Only mail the toys to me and the money to them. I'm like, uh, the toy holder. or something.

Also --
My friend Piper needs a family. Do you know one? He's pretty cool. He shared his chewy with me once.


http://www.virginiabichonrescue.org/

XOXO
'vie.

Toys RULE!

I love toys. Man, they are the coolest things ever. You get to PLAY with them.

If I had my way, I'd live in a house built of toys. and liver. Toys and liver. Yeah. But I wouldn't let the toys eat the liver. Nope, that's all for me. Yum.

WHAT IS A TOY? It's anything I want to play with. I like the soft stuffed ones you can chew open. I love to see the human's reaction to a destuffing! Their eyes get big, they get red in the face, they get frantic looking for pieces... really! It's so funny! They even make noises.

If you ever feel neglected by your human, this is a surefire way to correct the situation. Do not underestimate the drama you can whip up by simply "playing with" one of those softies. Noses, eyes, tails, ears, tongues.... chew them off. Hide the loose bits and pieces and let the human treasure hunt begin!. Your rest period starts when they stop their routine to treasure hunt. They are obsessed; they can't stop until all pieces are accounted for. God forbid a piece is missing - they'll follow you around for days!
Hard toys are fun too. They have buttons and the humans are ALWAYS looking for them. Phone charges, tissue boxes, any part of a car, remote controls.... FUN-NESS! Did you know that if you chew off the cap from a bottle of Aquafina you get wet? Almost like a bath. That'll be a different post...

Some toys just happen. You know what I am talking about; the cap off of any spray can, the corners on the pillows on the couches, those yummy velcro ties ... scrunchies, fringes on rugs, tissues, toilet paper, Clinton's book [that hard cover was simply divine] the big fat markers that make the humans jump...

WHY PLAY??? I play, therefore I am. What other reason do you need? Now the real why to be asked is why do humans get so bent out of shape when you play with the toy they give you? I mean if it is mine to play with, why are you bothered by the fact that I have chewed off the face? You want me to not enjoy my toy? Humans are strange.

WHEN IS PLAYTIME??? Anytime. Has your human ever woken up at 3 am to question why you are playing???? DUHHHHHHHH above comments apply.

BUT HOW??? Anyway it pleases me. Just live with it ok? Micromanage much? Go get yourself a life or do I have to disassemble something to give you a new treasure hunt? I would appreciate any advice on this. Sometimes, my human staff is just too overbearing.

WHERE???
Everywhere. Humans have this weird thing about spaces. A space for this and a space for that. I have boxes for my toys, but I don't like to keep them there. I like to play "drop the toy." Here is how it works: 1) Go upstairs. 2) Take your toys one at the time out of the box and drop them down the stairs (don't stop until the entire toy box has been emptied and the bottom of the stairs looks like a carpet of toys). 3) Step back and watch. 4) Oh yeah. Put on your cute face, do the eye bit and if you can do the rest the chin on your paw trick do it! Ahhh the conflict you can witness. The human wants to yell, wants to hit something, but you are there tired and ohhh sooo cute, ahh the drama. Simple. Elegant. Fun. Offer up the belly.

Snuggle... Feel your power!

Ces't la vie,
'vie

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